Trumpenstein Sex Doll

ENTRY 2

Let me fill you in on these killer European squirrels. They stand seven feet tall and speak Cajun French. Their main weapon are their switchblade penises that they use to sodomize their enemies to death with one swift thrust. Believe me, it's no picnic to see a man impaled on a giant squirrel penis. 

The best way to kill them are to chop at or stab their ankles. They have a huge artery there and if you hit it just right, they bleed to death in a matter of seconds. My first kill was in Tampa just after the war started. I hit a squirrel with my car, a 1987 Yugo. I kept the head and brought it home. It made my sister throw up, so mom made me throw it away. 

I never liked squirrels, or possums or badgers for that matter. I honestly don't like animals. I see all living things as a food source for other living things. It was a good attitude to have when the war started. Walmarts closed up quickly when the supply chains were broken. With no food to buy, i lived off dogs, cats, birds, insects, and fresh corpses. Don't knock cannibalism. It's cheaper than a funeral and much quicker. I won't eat a man though, that's gay. I find the best part of women to eat are the breast and thighs. They taste best between the ages of 17 and 25. Once they get into the 30s, the meat is not as tender and the ass is the only part worth eating.

I have yet to eat a dead child, but I'm assuming human veal could be appetizing. Also, incase you were wondering, human ribs hold very little meat. It's not even worth the BBQ sauce trying. Human flesh is best prepared by roasting.

After eating the flesh, human bones have multiple uses. The large ones make decent tools, and smaller ones can be used as currency or jewelry. I knew a gay soldier who used a human femur as a dildo, but he died some time ago. I didn't eat him though, he probably had AIDS and like I said, I don't eat dudes. 

We tried to eat the dead squirrel soldiers, but their flesh causes explosive diarrhea. However, their skulls make decent umbrellas. Their pelts make good rugs, but cannot be worn as clothing. Too many people were killed after being mistaken as soldiers, so squirrel clothing was outlawed. I once banged a chick on top of a dead squirrel. It was fun, but I ended up with fleas in my ball hair. At least I can say I did it once.

END OF ENTRY 2