Sharing a Bed (Jordan Maron x Reader)

Sharing a Bed

It was the first time that the two of you decided to share a bed. Usually you'd opt for the couch when you stayed over, knowing that Jordan liked to keep his personal space to himself. You've been dating for the better half of 4 months now, playing video games together when your schedules aligned. It's been nice. Most would assume that the two of you were just platonic if it wasn't for the fact that you showed rare public displays of affection when you could get away with it.

Jordan has never really been the guy to offer hugs, kisses or even handholding, it made him uncomfortable, especially when others could see. So you settled for giving the occasional arm pats, surprise hugs from behind and gentle sneaky kisses on the cheek when you were over at his house. No matter how often you did it he'd still flinch at your touch and try to laugh it off. He knows you're just trying to show that you care about him but he can't help the way he reacts. 

Sometimes it upsets you and he explains that it has nothing to do with you personally, yet it still hurts.

That being said, he asked you about twenty minutes ago if you wanted to sleep in his bed tonight. It caught you so off guard that you almost said no. This was a big step in your relationship and you would be damned to miss an opportunity to try and slowly break down this wall that he has built up.

His room was so big, which shouldn't have been a surprise considering the rest of the place. It seemed like such a waste of space, that set of draws adjacent to the bed didn't even look full. The room lacked personality. The only telling sign that this was Jordan's room was the fact that the covers were a light grey accompanied by two black wooden side tables and dresser, as well as the massive black out curtain that had yet to be drawn closed.

You complain silently about the comfort of the bed. He could easily afford memory foam, but instead chooses to sleep on a stiff mattress that pokes into your back. All this time you swore it was that darn chair that he records in that's been giving him back pain, but the bed is easily another contender of the source. Despite the bumps, it was extremely warm. The duvet is super soft and soothing. 

The sound of the door opening startles you.

"Jesus," Jordan whispers sharply, as he steps into the room, finally finished with his shower.  He stands at the door frame for a few moments before dropping his towel from his hair and hesitantly making his way to the window to draw the curtains. He forgot about his invitation, making you anxious that he might take it back and kick you out.

The bed squeaks as he positions himself next to you. He doesn't say anything for the longest minute. 

"Did I scare you?" you ask quietly, looking up at him.

He does an awkward little chuckle before answering, "yeah, I ah- forgot that you'd be in here."

"You asked me if I wanted to?"

He nods before looking away, "I-I know. I know."

You force a small giggle in attempt to ease the tension and move closer to him, making sure it isn't so sudden. His body stiffens.

Your heart starts racing and your cheeks grow warm, as you reach your hand to hold onto Jordan's right arm.

He flinches as usual, making you pull away.

"No." The abrupt word shocks you. "I want you to."

Confused, you put your hand back and squeeze a little. The man's breath hitches, he eyes your hand and bites his lip.

"Am I doing something wrong?" Your words are full of concern. You don't want him to do things he's not ready to do but it's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place; you want to keep holding him but he's visibly uncomfortable.

"N-no. You're not doing anything wrong. It's just..." he swallows, placing his left hand on top of yours. "I'm not used to this."

Perhaps he was trying a form of exposure therapy? He's not enjoying it but he's trying to get used to it. He rubs your hand and gives you a sympathetic smile that you can barely see in the darkness. You know that being in a relationship is extremely hard for Jordan, so you can't fault him for his behaviour. You had to learn to be patient with him and understand that too much touch can send him through a sensory overload.

It's scary because this is nice, and ideally would be normal. Laying together, touching softly, being close. 

Jordan shifts so that he's laying on his side facing  you, inching the tiniest bit closer. He lifts his left arm, it's slightly shaking but determined to be wrapped around you. You straighten your back as you feel his hand on you. It's gingerly hovering over you, not yet having the full weight pressing down.

"You can hug me, if you'd like," you say softly.

He huffs a laugh awkwardly, slowly letting his arm down. You close the space between the two of you, getting a little impatient of the prolonged process.

"Gah-uh." That was a lot at once for him but he returns the settlement. His body twitches from the contact, heart racing.

You instinctively start patting his back which helps calm him down. You can tell he's embarrassed because you can feel the warmth radiating from his face. It's now that you can notice the that he smells really nice. The scent of the shampoo fuels your senses and you are encompassed buy his presence. His hair, still a little damp, was starting to curl. That has always been your favourite type of style, the curls. It bummed you out when he put product in it before he would do his recording sessions because it would end up flat.

"Can I touch your hair?" 

"Uh..." He tilts his head away, stuttering. You expect a no, that was the most sensitive part of his body. It was a lot to ask for in this current moment. After the big push that was you pressing your body against his in a hug, you are okay with little baby steps.

"It's okay, baby. I understand." You smile as you scratch his beard lightly.  He hums into your palm and plants a kiss into it.

The two of you stay like this until you notice he's drifted to sleep. With eyes adjusted to the dark, you admire your boyfriend's soft expression. He's so peaceful. You could get used to this, and hope that he will too.

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Heyo, hoped you enjoyed this little fic. I'm a bit rusty as I haven't written a fanfic since I 2014, so feedback would be very much appreciated as well as potential ideas and suggestions <3

~ Ensign_Kai