Sweet Sweat

Part 5

Maria opened her pink diary, but closed it instantly as she was not ready to relive fear and anxiety twice in the same day. She got up and walked to the kitchen to prepare something for Stephen to eat when he woke up. As she opened the refrigerator, her eyes fell on the little plastic, orange box. She stared at it for a while before reaching out for it. She had forgotten to see what was in there. Fear emerged in her chest as she opened it slowly. Inside the box was a sterile water prefilled syringe and a little bottle with the label "Glucagon for injection". Her hands started quivering. In no time, she burst into tears and fell on her knees. She whimpered as she tossed the orange box at the wall opposite her.

Maria cradled her head in her hands.

Stephen did not get up until eighteen hours later. All Maria could do was sit beside him and check his blood sugar every two hours until it had reached a level of two hundred and seventy-four milligrams per decilitre. Having high blood sugar for a few hours was preferable at this point, Maria assumed, making sure Stephen was warm the whole time.

He woke up several times only for a couple of minutes, enough to drink water. High blood sugar made him thirsty. Those moments Maria found the opportunity to ask him a few questions and check if his memory had recovered. It turned out the blood that had come out of his mouth was because he severely bit his tongue during the seizure. He had not noticed that earlier because his tongue had still been numb. And just because Stephen's body cured on its own, glucose would take time to reach his brain to completely retrieve his memory.

When Maria was certain Stephen was safe and sound, she felt secure, as well. She could not leave his side, but the thought of his project bounced inside her head. Maria gathered Stephen's notes on the physics' lab experiment and sat before her laptop to write the report he ought to submit the next day. She moved her diary and flowery, pink pen aside.

Seeing him like that was more terrifying than a near-death experience. And no matter how hard she had tried to remain calm, looking back to all of that, she knew she lost control after all.

She soon printed Stephen's report. She looked at her man and privately thought their love is stronger than any terror or anxiety diabetes came with. Maria knelt on the floor right beside him and held his hand. She rested her head on the couch and closed her eyes, crying herself to sleep.

That night it was not yet clear Maria would subconsciously despise pharmacists and ambulances. Little did she know Stephen was going to be fine the very next day.

'Good morning,' Stephen greeted her with a smile and urged her to get up from the floor, lending her some space on the couch, right next to him.

Maria lay in his arms, relieved he was feeling better. 'Do you remember what happened yesterday?' she tried one last time.

'You mean before or after the shock?' Stephen embraced her.

'Do you remember how much you liked that doughnut you ate?'

'I don't recall any doughnut.'

'Do you remember that tree?' Maria pointed across the room.

'Of course, baby. How could I not? We decorated it together.'

Maria slightly nodded and smiled in satisfaction. 'Can you remember where we went last Saturday night?'

'Saturday?' Stephen paused. 'I don't know – why d'you keep asking me all these questions? I'm perfectly fine.'

'Okay, last one.' Maria touched Stephen's cheek with the back of her fingers as the question just popped inside her head. 'How long have we been together?'

Stephen's silence answered her question. Maria faked a smile. Inside her head pictures popped up continuously: Stephen's pale face – blood coming out of his mouth – Stephen on the floor, merely any soul left inside of him – the glucagon in her fridge. She shook her head, her eyes fiercely shut.

'It's a good thing you had the glucagon injection with you at the time,' Stephen whispered and a tear slid down her cheek. 'I had forgotten to tell you how to use it.'

'Let's go to college, shall we,' she suggested, trying to sound normal. She wiped her wet face with her sleeves. 'You have to submit your report.'

'When did I write my report? Aaargh! Nevermind.' Stephen crawled over Maria and kissed her full on the mouth. 'We can go later, can't we?' His voice was sensual.

Stephen's unconscious body flashed before her eyes once more, and she turned away at once. 'I'm sorry,' she told Stephen, 'I – I can't – not now.'

Stephen slowly kissed her on the neck, then whispered, 'This is a sign I'm healthy.'

Maria did not react, giving Stephen the "not now" look. The latter one smiled considerably and got up, helping Maria on her feet, too.

On their way to college, Maria attempted to ask him more questions, but his memory had not yet fully been retrieved. Before submitting Stephen's project to the Professor, they stopped by the cafeteria to greet some friends.

'You won't believe what happened yesterday.'

Maria predicted he would want to scare their friends.

'What?' said a girl in the most indifferent of ways.

Stephen showed his tongue and everyone gasped at the same time. Maria opened her eyes wide, not having realized earlier how acutely he had bit his tongue.

'A piece was almost cut off,' Stephen joked.

Maria breathed heavily, not trusting herself to speak, as she remembered the slightly bluish colour of his skin the day before.

'Why did you bite him?' someone asked her as disgust crossed his face.

'I dint! Maria jumped at once.

Stephen's chortle echoed in the cafeteria and several heads turned to his direction. 'She did not bite me,' he said finally. 'I bit myself during a seizure.' Then, he explained what happened, from his own point of view. He mentioned walking on the street, feeling weak, and the next thing he noticed, he woke up on Maria's couch. His laughter interrupted the narration every now and then.

Meanwhile, Maria sat aside, shaking her head and secretly thinking it was not funny at all. She did not feel comfortable enough to explain what really happened, and that very moment, she was certain Stephen would never thoroughly comprehend what she experienced that day. She tried her utter best to keep her tears to herself.

Maria made him stay with her for the next four days – even though his memory was back by that very Monday noon – only to make sure nothing would happen to him on his way home; Stephen lived out of town and had to travel in a train to get home. The next couple of days, his body temperature was high. The fever that followed, though, had nothing to do with his blood glucose levels. It was probably because he lay on the cold ground for almost two hours.

She could not imagine the nightmares that were to come nor the series of flashbacks that would haunt her reason for the next months. Fear would become her second shadow. 

Maria glared at Stephen as he spoke and the question arose out of nowhere: was she willing to go through that again?