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I know this is stupid but I'm in tears trying not to break down

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I know this is stupid but I'm in tears trying not to break down. My ex and I split up 3 days before my birthday. And I'm trying to move on and talk to other people but I can't completely move on from him. He wants to get back together but he has to figure some shit out for himself which is understandable bc I've done that several times. But I just hate not being with him. When our lips met it was like fireworks. I want to marry this man. And it hurts bc I can't have him right now. And I know by posting this it's gonna hurt a certain reader and I'm sorry jj. But this is how I feel and I just can't control it. Anyways that's the daily depression update from yours truly....

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