Jooly adn teh Fat Ones

This is the only chapter

"You're onstage in 6 minutes!" shouted the assistant stage manager through the dressing room door.

"Great, thanks!" Alex called back, before turning back to his bandmates. "So we're doing it?"

"Of course we're doing it," Luke croaked, though his cold made him sound more like a frog than someone speaking English. "Why isn't Julie back yet?"

As if on cue, Julie stumbled through the doorway of the bathroom back into her dressing room. "There's no hope," she said forlornly. "My contacts are done for."

Meanwhile, Reggie was staring into the mirror, an expression of equal hopelessness on his face. "My hair," he whimpered. "Look at it!"

"I can't, Reggie," Julie said, sounding slightly hysterical. "My contacts are broken."

"And Kayla's in the audience tonight, too," he continued, as if she hadn't said anything. "This is a disaster."

"Okay, yes," Luke admitted. "Things aren't going great. Julie can't see, I have a minor cold..." He paused to hack out a cough. "Alex's hand is broken--"

"My hair is broken!"

"--Reggie's hair is broken. But we gotta pull through! Come on, Julie-and-boys. We've been through worse! Remember Caleb's jolts? We can handle these totally tiny problems!"

There was a pause.

"Luke," Alex said slowly. "I'm sure whatever you just said was very inspirational. But I couldn't understand any of it. You sound like a rusty door."

"This is a disaster," Julie mumbled into her hands, ignoring a That's what I'm saying! from Reggie.

"Three minutes!"

"Okay, okay," Julie said, regrouping her thoughts. "We just need to deal with this however we can, and then it will be over. Can someone find Reggie a hat, please?"

"A hat!" Reggie cried. "Julie, you're a genius. Okay, come on, Alex, Luke. Give me your hats."

"Both of them?" Alex asked skeptically, handing his over.

"Obviously, Alex. I need to hide this--" he made wild gestures toward his hair "--as much as possible." Placing the two hats onto his head, his eyes suddenly widened. "I'm... gonna be right back." He poofed away.

"I don't even wanna know what that was about," Alex grumbled, then turned to face Luke. "Are you sure you're okay to perform? Back when we were alive, you used to literally pass out when you got sick."

"I'm sorry," Julie interjected. "He used to what?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter anymore! I'm a ghost! Ghosts can't pass out!"

"They can get sick, though," Julie pointed out, gesturing toward him.

"It doesn't matter, okay? We'll go out there, we'll rock, and then I can get better or whatever. For now, I'm fine." As if his body was laughing at him, it chose that very second to commence a coughing fit that lasted at least a minute. Much to Luke's delight, however, Julie and Alex were distracted from commenting by Reggie's reappearance with 9 hats jammed onto his head.

"Reggie?" Julie said. "I can't see anything right now, but you look a LOT taller than you did two minutes ago."

"Yeah," Reggie said cheerfully as Alex gaped in horror. "You know that kid from your school, Nick? And how he has like 10 fedoras? I stole seven of them."

"You stole them," Alex squeaked. "Of course. It's not like you could've... Oh, I don't know... Not done that?"

"Kayla's in the audience!"