The following day Brett got his new meds which would take away most of the pains, being a heavenly change for both of them, all though Brett himself didn't remember that much from that night.
Eddy did though. He wasn't able of letting go of the pictures hammered into his mind. He got a cold, freezing anixiety feeling inside all the day after that, making it hard to relax, hard to breath, hard to concentrate, hard to sleep, hard to.... LIVE.
Brett wasn't that keen on actually taking the new pills. And Eddy didn't trust him to tell how bad the pains were soon enough, like they had talked about, which made him tense up even more. But it was great just knowing they got them, in case things went too far again.
Brett was over all better without all of those pains, but now he was starting to feel sick again, feeling like he did before starting chemo.
It was soon time for another one, this time he didn't have to stay in hospital though, the doctors had found this new chemo worked like they wanted on his cells, it was the right one for him.
Brett was glad, but having mixed feelings around it all, knowing he would be sick again.
What else could he do though?
Eddy was struggling to keep himself together. He got huge problems sleeping, in big fear of seing pictures of Brett the other night in front of his eyes. He was sleepy all the time, and he felt sick and tired of everything. Keeping all together was too much. He was tense all the time and started having his body aching as well.
He managed to pull through though, he had to do this for Him.
Brett was kind and warm, not having these huge pains anymore, and being able to touch and kiss eachother again was highly welcome and much needed during these pressured times.
They were 2 guys, both feeling frayed, starting a new week.
Eddy knew they had to do something, not being able to handle all this by himself anymore. He had to take care of himself to be able to take care of Brett.
He had to get away from here, he needed a place he could sleep, where he didn't see Brett screaming and fighting in great pain. He needed a place where IF that happened again, he would be able to call someone to help him out. Family for example.
-Hey, Brett, I need to talk to you.
-Okay?
-Uhm... how about we going back to Australia?
-Why?
-I just...I think I'd feel safer with you there, knowing we'll have family and friends around us, and.. we know the hospital better. We know everything better there.
You' ll be welcome to stay with me as much as you want, like always. We just... we need more people around us, I need to give more lessons to be able to get it all together. Maybe you can teach or something as well, in better days? We know the school , we know more students. We need more money, actually. Not being able to give concerts is having a huge impact on us.
Brett felt that he wanted this himself, to be honest. He had thought about it, how weird it was not having them all around him now when he needed them the most. But flying was now risky due to covid, and it was much more risky to put Brett through that now, he would probably die if he got that shit.
Covid was not that big of a problem in Singapore nor Australia compared to the rest of the world, but nobody knew anything about how this would continue. And now, when Brett was feeling a little bit better, was maybe the right time to do it.
The flight back home was a long and exhausting one, and if they should be able to do this at all, Eddy knew he had to push this through right NOW when Brett would be able to handle it.
The following days they filmed the next week's content, and had the hospital send all of Brett's clinical case notes over to their local hospital in Brisbane.
With Brett himself being a little more working, this was no problem, and they were even lucky enough to catch a good flight home.
It felt good to be lucky for once.
The flight back home was much more struggling than any of them had expected, they tried to take their time, but Brett was feeling sick from the stress and they had to rest a lot.
Neither one of them had even thought sitting on a plane could be this exhausting until now.
At least they made it home to Eddy's, and they crashed right into bed.
Brett was suddenly awakened by Eddy crying hard and loudly.
-What? Eddy, what's wrong?
Eddy was tossing and turning, speaking incoherently, making Brett understand he was actually still sleeping. Brett noticed Eddy saying his name and showed clear signs that he was really upset by something.
Eddy suddenly started screaming and shouting. -Don't you dare taking him away from me!
-Eddy, you're dreaming. Wake up, I'm here with you. Love, come on, it's ok.
Eddy was drenched in sweat, for once it was Brett stroking his hair kindly, and finally Eddy managed to break away from the dream, breathing heavily. He was confused about where he was, not able to recognise the room at once.
-It's ok love, WE're ok. We're fine. I'm here, right here with you.
Eddy could finally recognise his boyfriend, his eyes searched around in the dark.
-Please hold me! Eddy swallowed a huge amount of anxiety.
-Of course babe.
Brett pulled Eddy closer to him, kissing his wet hair.
-I'm so afraid, Eddy sniffled.
-Yeah, so am I.
-Could you please just... tell me everything is gonna be ok? Eddy actually wanted to ask Brett to promise him to stay alive and not die on him, but that would be too much, wouldn't it?
-Everything's gonna be ok, Brett tried to sound as convincing as possible, not believing it himself though.
Eddy was still tense, Brett could feel that stiff body close to him.
He tried to stroke him on the back, that way he knew Eddy prefered it, with a little pressure, careful not to tickle him.
Brett soon leaned in against him, pushing him down under his own weight, and started kissing him.
Eddy gave in pretty soon, still a bit tense though, but Brett knew he would feel better, both of them would feel better, when they only got those hormones going.
Eddy could feel the warmth started flowing in his veins. Being that close to Brett was the best. He could feel his body slowly giving in, relaxing, feeling himself disappear in all the softness and warmth sorrunding them. Drowning in Brett's loving embrace, where nothing else mattered. His heart continued racing, this time not because fear, but because of love and sweet tenderness.
-I'll stay alive for as long as I can, love, I won't leave you for anything. I'll do whatever I can...Brett said in between kisses.
-Don't say things like that right now, please, just... Eddy started crying again.
-hold me, he continued, with the sorest voice Brett had ever heard from him.
Brett tried to be the strong and big one for once, he knew Eddy was at the edge of becoming a nervous wreck. Because of him.
He gently wiped his love's tears with the back of his hand, kissing him again and again, gently, tender, sweet.
-It's ok baby, I'm here, he whispered, kissing Eddy's neck and shoulder, feeling Eddy pull him closer.
Brett could feel how Eddy's body slowly got softer, hormones and feelings breaking him free from tense and sore muscles.
-We should probably stop it there, he smirked, knowing exactly the sweet spot where this calmness would turn into burning lust instead.
So far they hadn't been able to do THAT yet, both too afraid and exhausted to even think about it. Both thinking it might be time soon though, but just lying like this and get to know each other was good too. Kind of like being young again. Too young too... you know. But still old enough to feel big things, like when having the first crush, first girlfriend.. it WAS kinda like that with Brett, because everything was still so foreign, like that unexplored forest again. Eddy didn't like exploring all these new forests at once. Therefore it was good to be back in Australia at least. At least this was a familiar place where he knew his businesses.
