EDDY:
he following 2-3 days were beautiful, Brett being almost the same old that Eddy remembered and loved so deeply.
Lively, goofy, full of laughter and silly ideas.
They filled the days with things they were used to do, gaming, playing, practicing.
Eddy had been engaged in giving some lessons to have a little more income now during covid and Brett's illness. They couldn't be touring and they had to calm down a bit on making YouTube-videos, but they still got morgage to pay, and so Eddy had to work. He didn't mind teaching actually, but it was something he wasnt THAT happy about. Especially because that meant leaving Brett home alone. He felt guilty thinking about it. Brett was old enough to take care of himself, he would manage to stay at home those hours, it was just... that he was so sick.. Eddy was worried something could happen to him or..
Luckily they got some friends he could call if he got too worried.
When he got the morningshift at the music uni he tried to sneak out without waking Brett, and hoped he would still be sleeping when Eddy finished giving his lessons at lunch. But usually, Brett was up, having not being able to sleep anymore without having Eddy besides him in bed.
Eddy would come home at lunch-hour, usually having bought some food on the way, or he would make some, to make sure Brett ate. He wasn't sure if Brett ate any breakfast, and Eddy knew that if Brett's body should be able to fight this fucking shit, and to stand the chemo as well, he needed all the energy he could get.
It was hard for Eddy to focus on his tasks being at music uni again. He remembered too well when he and Brett were young, they were students and had dreams as well. The same dreams he saw in these students. Knowing very few of them would actually make it, but encouraging them to keep it up, and at least practice to be better, feeling the excitement and pleasure music would give them anyway. Still his thoughts went back to Brett. Was he ok?
Eddy looked at his phone every second minute he felt like, just to make sure Brett hadn't called or texted him.
He had told him to do so if he needed something.
Brett never called though, knowing Eddy was busy.
Everything was so different. Everything was so changed!
Fair enough, Brett had being sick for a while, but this was something else anyway.
From being best friends just hanging together, to...this! Having a relationship and living like adults, he suddenly felt. Brett being his partner, staying at home, while Eddy tried to work. And Brett needing him to take care of him so badly, allthough he would never admit it.
Coming home was great though, Brett was so happy to see him, and they could finally be together like before. ALMOST like before.
They did much of the same things like they used to years earlier, but being boyfriends changed their dynamics. It was almost like... playing the same piece in different ways. 2 different interpretations, both beautiful, but different dynamics, different phrasing.
Because the piece was the same, everything about it was well-known. It was just the execution itself that was so unfamiliar, some tiny things doing differently, made this whole piece exciting and a little bit frightening at the same time.
Eddy was that kind of guy who liked things being well-known, not fan of big changes. He knew where to go, where the piece was starting and ending, knew how his violin reacted and felt on some particular places and notes, only then he could feel free to enjoy it, throw himself wholeheartedly into it and make his own music out of it. That's what he felt now in his relationship with Brett.
Brett was different. He was wholeheartedly in everything he believed in, from the beginning. He didn't need all this time to feel things out before reaching for them, wanting them.
This made Eddy feel Brett was the strongest and toughest one of them, he had always, from they met as teens, pushed Brett in front of him into unknown situations and places.
Now with Brett being this ill, Eddy felt insecure about everything, taking the charge and pretty much running the household at the same time as their whole brotherhood was changed into something else he didn't quite know how to do yet.
It was like walking into a big forest you've never been in before. Eddy really didn't want all these different forests at the same time, he had plenty with one to focus on, but he knew he had to push this through.
He needed to love Brett, and Brett needed him to take care of him right now. He could do this!
