Lost: Dramione Story

Chapter 16: A Mess

It was the early afternoon before I returned to the apartment laden down with books. I was warmed to find Draco napping on the couch with a copy of "The Faraway Tree" open on his chests. He obviously hadn't slept, he must have been awake all night watching me, just in case something happened. I took the book from its position, I took the deep green shawl from the back of the couch and tucked him under it. He was handsome while he slept, peaceful. As if the whole was at rest. I closed the bedroom door quietly behind me as not to wake him. Then I began.

The sun was starting to fall in the winter sky when he opened the door, I jumped slightly. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you"

"you didn't" I said, not taking my head from the pages. There were books everywhere. Pages all over the floor some levitating around me. He stood and watched me as I sat cross legged going from page to page, taking the pencil from my hair every now and again. "you're staring", I muttered after a while.

"I realise" he said. I looked up, he was leaning against the door frame, his hair standing up at funny angles after his nap. There was a moment where we just locked eyes, waiting to see who would break first. I did. Nervous, suddenly about what this was. "Dinner's in an hour"

"it's six already?" I exclaimed.

"it is" he laughed, closing the door. Then, he popped his head back in "wear something nice, Granger". I hurled a book at the door that closed quickly.

"prick" I muttered

"I heard that" he called.

"good" I yelled back. I waved my wand. The books, pages and pieces of parchment swirled in the air until they landed in a rather large but tidy pile next to the door. Now, what on earth was I going to wear?

I walked out the bedroom forty minutes later. I slipped a pair of silver earrings into my lobes as I did. I leaned against the door to put on a pair of short strappy heels that had belonged to Ginny. Draco turned when he heard the door open. "do you prefer red- "he stopped. His mouth fell open.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"something like that" he breathed, swallowing. I leaned against the door, much like he earlier. I had chosen a pair of black leather trouser and a tight black top, paired with a deep burgundy mid-thigh length blazer. I laughed pushing off the door walking to sit on the kitchen counter. He went back to stirring whatever he was making for dinner. He kept looking at me out of the side of his eyes. "ready for the best dinner you've ever eaten?"

"born ready" he pulled out a chair at the table "ever the gentlemen" I chuckled. He wasn't lying. It was the best dinner I had ever eaten. "I didn't know you could cook"

"oh, I'm full of surprises" he laughed leaning back to take me in fully. "so, what have you been working on all day?"

"my, my, somebody is nosey" I chuckled, draining the last of the glass of wine "a bit of muggle research"

"do tell"

"on scar removal" I said clearly. His face faltered.

"scar removal?" he was so quiet, almost like a mouse. I nodded. "Why?"

"for you, stupid" I said, I was suddenly embarrassed. "sorry, if I've overstepped the line"

"why muggle research?" he had gone pale.

"well, the reason I went to St. Mungo's was because of a muggle diagnosis that had no magical answer" I took a deep breath "I thought maybe the same might work for you, just backwards". He didn't say anything. Not for what felt like a century. He just stared at me.

"why would you do that for me?"

"why wouldn't I?" I laughed "look at what you did for me"

"my point exactly, look at what I have done to you Hermione" he stood and began to pace "You wake up screaming in the night because of what I did to you"

"Draco"

"the Manor was my fault; I should've done something to stop her" he was almost tearing his hair out.

"it wasn't your choice" I stood.

"you were in so much pain, I should've done something"

"you did" I said quietly. He stopped and turned to look at me.

"what?"

"you told me to stay with you, to stay awake" I muttered.

"you heard that?" he was suddenly blushing, I nodded.

"you didn't give me this" I shed the jacket so my scar could be seen "you didn't carve that into my arm and I don't think in the eight years I've known you, did you ever once mean it when you said it to me". He leaned against the kitchen counter, his head to the floor. "Draco, I'm not scared of you, of who you were and who you are now". I walked to him. "I'm not scared of your mind". His eyes were wide. We were centimetres a apart. He hugged me quickly. My head was tucked perfectly under his chin. We rocked back and forth. His heart was thundering faster than a centaur on the run. He took my hand and we swayed to the music that wasn't even playing.

"you going to tell me why you were so terrified to go to sleep last night?" he murmured into my hair.

"it's not exactly dinner time conversation" I closed my eyes.

"Hermione". I shook my head, he pulled back. I was suddenly so cold. "I'm not scared of your mind". I walked to the window to stare out at the dark sky. He stayed where he was and just waited for me to talk. I took a breath, and then another, and then another.

"in the muggle world, they call it PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder" I swallowed my embarrassment. "it happens after a traumatic incident which scars your mind. Soldiers often suffer from it, during the world was they called it shell shock. Different things trigger it. Colours, sounds, words, feelings. Nightmares. I'll wake up screaming or I'll vomit" I started to shake. "there's no magical equivocate, no magical cure, no muggle cure actually". He said nothing but walked to me and wrapped his arms around me resting his head on mine. "I'm destined to be a mess forever"

"one thing, you certainly aren't Hermione Granger, is a mess"