My Boss' Son

Chapter 85

-HOLY JEEZ I didn't even realize I hadn't updated in so long until I read your tweets the other day! So sorry, I will try not to leave it that long again. xx -

'Ellie Goulding -Love me like you do' was all I listened to while writing this :')

His room is dark, having no lights on or curtains opened though the small rays of sun coming through the curtain allows me to see Harry walking over to turn on a small lamp. He lets out a sigh, ruffling his hand through his hair before letting out a huge sigh and laying down on his bed. I stand there awkwardly for a few moments, wondering if it's okay that I join him but really unsure. His arms are crossed over his face, exhaustion clearly setting over him as he lays there tiredly.

Before I can deem it appropriate or not, ex-boyfriend or not, I would consider Harry one of my closest friends which gives me no excuse not to join him on the bed. I sit down on the other side watching him as takes in shallow breathes, obviously trying to hold back tears which only causes mine to start.

"Harry" I say quietly before wiping a small tear off my cheek.

Unmoving from his position, he just shakes his head which only makes me hurt more.

This is how it always is with deaths. The different emotions come in waves. One minute you feel like you're coping and can talk about anything then next you're back at the bottom again, having no idea what happened or why it happened.

I can see his whole body is tense so I waste no time in leaning over and hugging him. I lay down slightly so we are equal and wrap my arms around his waist. He then immediately breathes in a huge sob, trying his hardest to control it.

"I'm so sorry Harry" I say quietly, knowing no words will take this pain away.

His chest that my cheek rests on moves up and down in ragged movements as he cries, his arms still covering his face.

"This is fucking shit" he mumbles, his voice hoarse as he tries to hold back the tears, his voice only straining further.

"I know" I say, squeezing him tighter wishing I could take all of his pain along with mine.

I hate seeing him like this. So vulnerable and lost over the loss of his dad. The loss over someone he looked up to, someone who he thought would be by his side much longer than this. It's an unfair and hideous part of life that we are all faced with at some point and letting a loved one go is by far the worst test life can throw at you.

"Oh god" Harry sighs, shifting under me slightly which causes me to let him go and sit up.

He let's out a huge breath, his arms wiping his eyes before he finally brings them away from his face. I quickly wipe mine before looking to him, his eyes red and puffy, cheeks a little flustered as he seems to slow his breathing a little.

"Can we talk about something else?" he asks calmly, wiping his eyes once more before finally looking to me.

"Erm okay... Like what?" I say, unable to come up with anything as I stare at someone I care so deeply for going through so much pain.

"I don't know" he shrugs, sitting up so his back is against the headboard. "What have you been up to these days?" he says, trying hard to recover and distract the both of us from the looming grief surrounding us.

"Umm..." I mumble, playing with the ends of my scarf as all I've really been doing in New York is hanging out with Jackson and I don't feel it's fair nor do I feel comfortable talking about it all that much. I'm already an emotional wreck, I don't need to add that to the works too."Job interviewing and hanging out with friends" I shrug, casually and he lets out a small laugh.