Youth In A Nutshell (Kita Shinsuke)

6

"Back then (Y/N). If you had the chance, would you have gone with Atsumu instead?"

......

After what felt like a rather long pause, I peered up at Kita and shook my head decisively.

"No. I wouldn't have." I said with an honest expression.

Kita on the other hand stayed nonchalant, even though I very much knew he was quite surprised by my given answer.

"And why not?" He asks.

"You can't ask something like that to me... I chose you for a reason. And I never had feelings for Atsumu anyways..." I explained, "I'm sure you know how much I felt towards you — and I'm sure you know more than anyone else."

"Really now? Then if you felt that much towards me why did you break off?" He reverse-questions, argh.

I'm not sure why he chooses to ask such topics. Is it just to hurt me or to shadow cast me into a villain? This guy is a sadist, right? Oh yes, I conclude that he's definitely a sadist.

I like to think that I'm not someone that's often melancholy but when Kita interrogates me like this, I feel like some runaway criminal — so I started experiencing guilt which made me appear more suspicious than I really am. For instance, when there wasn't anything for me to fiddle with, I couldn't help but bite the inside of my cheek nervously whilst he waits for me to talk — thus making me look suspicious.

Me and Kita are two people that have known each other for probably around a decade, that's why there shouldn't be any reason for me to feel uncomfortable.

And so when two individuals have gone through a lot, they'll learn to know each other thoroughly and train to understand one another's traits or habits from their relationship. Therefore, theoretically, I should be calm and not anxious. 

But that's not how it works once you meet Kita Shinsuke.

Somehow, this guy's questioning really had pressured me... Hence why I predict that for the past three years, Kita must have studied the dark arts of holding a poker face and the laws of being a big bully... Since I feel extremely attacked right now.

I go quiet and avoid all sorts of eye contact as Kita continues staring dead straight into my broken soul.

"Why did you do it (Y/N)?" He asks again.

He makes me want to scream. I want to throw something at him.

"..."

In all honesty, the reason why I didn't feel like replying was purely due to that fact I couldn't think of anything that would make sense. Although, if I stayed silent for any longer then he'd not leave this question to peace. So I had no choice but to force myself to start blabbering with no filter.

"Do you not know?" I contemptuously asked, "I did it because we grew distant. It's a very normal thing with many people."