Don't Ever Forget

XLI.

"I thought you didn't want Y/N to be in harm's way?" Harry asks with an eyebrow raised. Draco turns to Harry and they seem to have a standoff through eye contact but after a moment Draco just sighs. 

"Well, she's convinced that she wants to do this so there's nothing I can do to stop her. I might as well help you succeed," he says with a shrug. 

"Draco's right. It makes sense that he would have feelings for you. If you make it like you want to see him, just to see him then he'll probably be more obliged to meet you in person," Hermione says, ignoring the tension between Harry, Ron, and Draco. 

"So, what? You want me to flirt with him?" I ask, laughing but after a moment I realize no one else is laughing. Hermione is giving me a sheepish smile and I immediately stop laughing.

"We can use that to our advantage! If he thinks that he's going to see you for non-business related reasons he won't be on guard. He might not even tell anyone where he'd be," she says and I suddenly feel sick to my stomach.

"You can't be serious. What am I supposed to say over a letter that would make him think I want to see him for 'non-business related reasons'? What even would be a non-business related reason?" I know I'm blabbering but I can't wrap my head around that idea. I feel Draco's hand find mine under the table and he squeezes it. I look at him and his eyes are full of sympathy. 

"Remember that we'll be there, Y/N. We won't let him hurt you," Ron says supportively and I take a deep breath. Maybe I was overreacting but thinking about Billingsgate coming to see me for personal reasons makes me queasy. It had been a while but I remember what it was like when he'd lay an unwanted hand on me, or how he almost forced me to kiss him. 

"If it's our best option, I'll do it. Of course, I'll do it. I trust you guys," I tell them. Hermione, Harry, and Ron smile at me appreciatively. 

"Yes! Y/N as our femme fatale to save the day!" Collins says and Matthews bumps him on the arm again but I can't help but laugh. Femme fatale. It seemed like such a ridiculous idea. I look over and notice Draco's eyebrows are pulled together with worry. Our hands are still intertwined under the table and this time I give his hand a squeeze. His face immediately relaxes but I can tell he doesn't like the plan. 

"We should do it at the end of the week. Y/N can send the letter today to make sure Billingsgate will come," Ron suggests and everyone seems to agree. I'm still looking at Draco and I'm dying to talk to him. It's like I can feel the disapproval radiating off of him but he still hasn't said anything about it. 

"I agree, end of the week," I say, not taking my eyes off of him, "Hermione do you mind drafting a letter to Billingsgate. I want to talk to Draco privately for a moment." 

"Sure," Hermione says, seeming surprised at the request. I get up from my chair, ignoring everyone's eyes on me, and lead Draco to my room. I close and lock the door behind me. 

"Muffliato," I whisper after taking out my wand. Draco raises an eyebrow at me.

"What's that for?" he asks.

"Privacy. I want you to tell me everything you're thinking right this instant," I demand and he lets out a quiet laugh.

"You already know I don't like it," he says and I frown. 

"Why did you come today?" I ask and this time he's the one who frowns.

"Would you rather I not be here?" he asks and I can sense the hurt in his voice.

"I didn't mean that. I just... why would you torture yourself with the details?" I ask, my mind flashing to the current plan with Billingsgate, and how I have to lure him to me.

"If you won't let me be there, I want to know all the details. It'll make me feel better knowing," he replies, his voice growing more serious. We stand in silence for a moment while I try to figure out what I could do to comfort him, to ease his worry. He walks to my bed and sits at the edge. He holds out his hand to me, asking me to come forward. I oblige and place my hand in his. Suddenly, he pulls me close and uses his other arm to lift me up so I'm sitting on his lap. 

"Draco!" I gasp but he quiets me with a kiss. As if we'd need to be quiet. He slowly pulls away from my lips only to kiss my cheek, then leaves a trail down my neck. 

"What are you doing?" I ask, letting out a sigh. I knew he seemed unusual when he first arrived but now it was more evident. It had been a while since we were this intimate but it still felt like there was a meaning behind it. 

"I can't kiss you?" he asks innocently before burrowing his face into the nape of my neck. I try not to let the sensation distract me.

"I know something else is on your mind," I tell him. He stays still for such a long time I thought he was just going to ignore me. 

"I want to spend as much time with you as I can," he admits quietly and I sigh. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his head to my chest, holding him as much as he was holding me. He's such a pessimist. My pessimist. 

"Nothing is going to happen to me, Draco," I whisper. He doesn't answer so I just stroke the white-blond strands of hair on the top of his head. In an odd way, I worried for him more than I worried about myself. I didn't think much about what could happen to me when I met Billingsgate but I doubt my mind went to such a dark conclusion as his did. 

"The sooner we take care of this, the sooner we can go back to normal. We can go back to when you didn't have to protect me," I say lightheartedly but he suddenly looks up at me, his eyes reddened. 

"Why are you so selfless? Why are you willing to do all those things even though you could be in danger?" 

"We've been over this, Draco," I reply gently and he just goes back to place his ear against my chest. He starts to drum the rhythm of my heartbeat with his finger against my waist. 

"I wish I were as brave as you," he whispers, still keeping the rhythm going.

"You are brave," I immediately protest but he just laughs. I grab his face and turn it so he has to look into my eyes. I pull his lips to mine and kiss him deeply. I can feel his desperation and desire. 

"I'm going to be okay, we're going to be okay. After this week we'll have all the time in the world," I tell him after pulling away. 

"Do you promise?" he asks. 

"I promise," I say before leaning back into him.