Unravelling Alise

27| the aftermath and changes

You were the one who promised to be truthful. 

Robotically, I brush all the broken pieces of glass and hair into the dustpan. I sigh when I realize I'll need a new mirror now. 

I put it on my mental list and go upstairs to take a shower. The warm water cascades through my hair and down my back. I massage shampoo into my hair and it gives me a small shock just how short it feels. My head is supposed to feel lighter but ironically it feels the opposite. 

I feel a sting on my palm and see an angry cut, burning from the water. I rinse out the shampoo and body wash, trying to ignore the persistent stinging. The warmth of the shower makes me stay underneath the water for a few extra minutes before I finally decide to step out. 

After changing to sweats and a hoodie, I take my hair out of the claw clip that barely contained it. Unable to withhold taking a look, I glance at the mirror. 

It looks horrible. 

I look like I went through a psychotic breakdown. No wonder, Vi was stunned into silence. 

'God Magalise why are you so stupid? It's not even the fact you cut the hair. It'll grow back. Her touch was years gone. Face that truth.' my inner voice tells myself. 

'No.' I still argue, grasping at straws. 

I know the memories are the things that matter. And the touch I was so desperate to hold onto was nothing but a memory. But it was still her touch and I miss it. I miss her so much and I will never forgive myself for doing such a thing.

But your impulsiveness and anger is wrong. This is only going to hurt you. It already has hurt you. 

Then let it continue to hurt me, because it already has. 

I'm suddenly reminded of Jamie. I run to check my phone and see thirteen missed calls and thirty eight messages. Alex has called me twice and texted me once. I open his text rightaway and immediately feel relief yet unease infilter my body. 

Alex: Hey Mags, I called you twice but you didn't pick up. I just wanted to tell you he's okay so don't worry. He's sleeping it off right now but in no danger. 

I check the time and realize it's close to eight pm. I let out a shaky sigh before sending a quick thank you and heading downstairs to the kitchen. 

"You took your sweet time." Vi blows at the steam rising above her coffee. 

"I know." I lazily smile. 

"You look better." she says, as she passes me a cup. 

I hum in acknowledgement and take a sip. 

"Careful it's hot." Vi warns.

Nevertheless I take another sip, ignoring her warnings that were non applicable to me. 

"It's perfectly fine." 

"I will never understand how you can drink such hot liquids. You're seriously gonna burn your throat one day."

"I'll be fine." I shrug with a smile. 

"So what happened to your mirror?"

"Oh it broke."

"How?" she drawls after taking a sip. 

"I chucked a pair of scissors at it."

"I see." 

"Do you know where I can get a new mirror and get it attached?"

"Jesse can do it."

"Really?" I raise my eyebrows.