Eddy feared everything was going to be awkward between them.
There were some new things about being boyfriends, like kissing and holding hands and all that jazz.
He had longed for those things for years, but taking the first step doing it, was... somehow terrifying, even though Brett had been his best friend for half of his life. Or maybe that was exactly why this was such a big change?
And what would happen if it didn't work out, could they go back to be friends now?
What if Brett didn't like his kissing and dumped him because of that?
Eddy decided to let things grow, let them happen naturally, not forcing anything.
Everything was out in the open, and things were clear, there was nothing more to stress about.
It was a beautiful day, and Brett was feeling better than Eddy had seen him in a long time.
He was smiling and laughing, talking, eating... everything looked so normal.
They did a bunch of videos for their channel, not knowing when the next time would be. Eddy had worked down some ideas when Brett was hospitalised, things not that hard to do, pretty much sitting still and talking. Debating, reacting to other videos. Brett would manage to do that.
He made sure to have some hot, tasty tea in front of them as well, because allthough it was late spring outside, and nice temperatures, Brett would feel cold sometimes, due to sideeffects and lack of eating enough last week.
They had to take their time, things ran a little bit slower than before. Brett was getting tired much faster, and having him not looking too pale in the videos, Eddy knew he had to go easy on him.
Because of this, filming took almost the whole day in time, including lots of breaks.
Evening was coming up, and Brett was unsure on how to act now. What to do now? They had to talk about the r-word, as someone called it in that fanfic-video some time ago.
He guessed that Breddy was real then, after all. Wow. He was having a hard time believing it, and it made him a little bit uneasy, nervous.
But at the same time it felt good. Everything was coming together.
Brett was leaving their studio, slowly, feeling a little lightheaded from it all, when Eddy suddenly showed up, coming at the opposite direction. Brett looked at him, his boyfriend (really??) and found himself looking at Eddy in a different way. He was wearing a big, soft hoodie, making him look warm and snuggly. Brett couldn't resist the urge to check out if he felt like that as well.
He made that final step, and let himself sink into Eddy's arms, just to find out that yes, Eddy felt exactly as he looked like.
Like heaven.
Eddy was happily surprised by that hug standing in the corridor outside their studio. It was nothing like those bro-hugs they had lots of before. This felt somehow much softer, much sweeter, warmer. He didn't know hugging Brett could feel that way. He got a rush of happiness and had to laugh inside.
Finally he could stroke Brett wherever he wanted without feeling afraid of acting weird, couldn't he?
Eddy stroked his right hand slowly up Brett's back, finally reaching his head, touching his hair again, this time a totally different touch than before. Last week doing that was a touch of comforting, when Brett was so scared. Now it was a touch of love. Only.
They stood there for a while, just breathing together, just taking in that sweet feeling of everything finally being pieced together, like finally filling s void inside, in their own body. Feeling whole.
Brett looked up at him.
-Is this ok? Eddy asked, needing to know if touching like this was within the invisible lines.
-Yeah, Brett sighed, hiding his face in Eddy's hoodie again.
They didn't wanna let go, but had to, some time.
-Come on. Let's order some food, Eddy said, finally breaking the hug, but letting his hand slide down Brett's back and taking Brett's left hand. Their fingers intertwined, almost automatically, being locked like that while walking in to the livingroom.
Eating while sitting close on the couch was something not terribly new, but still somehow it was.
Brett finally manned up to say it:
-We have to talk about the r-word, you remember that fanfic?
-Oh yeeeaah! I remember! Well...
This was really a golden opportunity for Eddy to talk about these invisible boundaries he was so afraid of, but he couldn't make himself bringing it up.
-Let's just... take til slow, yeah? I guess, do whatever feels right, act naturally, isn't that...ok? Just follow our instincts, I just... I don't know? How do we do this?
Brett laughed softly.
-I'm not afraid you're gonna do anything too intimidating to me, but if you do, I'll let you know. And you promise to do the same, yeah?
Eddy nodded enthusiastic.
He turned to look at Brett.
-So... we've got that r-word-thing going on now?
Brett looked back at him, the eye-contact was so deep and intense, Eddy had never seen Brett's eyes like that. They were warm, loving and happy and he smiled widely.
-I guess so!
Eddy couldn't help himself from taking Brett's cheek in his hand. His heart pounded wildly. He felt like he was about to explode.
-You mean Breddy is real after all?
-Seems like it!
-The fans knew! Before we did!
-The fans knew it all along!
They both laughed happily and hugged again, a long-lasting, warm boyfriendhug.
No pain, no sorrow, no worries existed.
They had plenty of time to deal with that later.
These hours they could treat themselves to only have the two of them and the r-word.
