Lay A Glance On Me 1 (Lost and Retained #2)

Kabanata 12

Nang natapos ay binaba ko na ang ballpen at tinignan siya. ''How about you? Hindi ka pa papasok?''

She shook her head. ''Hindi pa. Hinihintay ko pa si Xian, e. Dala yung pizza para mamaya.''

My lips twisted as I slowly nodded. Hindi ko kilala iyong Xian kaya't pagkatapos niyang magsalita, nagpaalam na 'ko para pumasok.

I was firmly holding the paper bag in my left hand as I open the door ngunit naunang magbukas 'yon palabas. Napaatras ako sa gulat kaya't nabitawan ko ang paper bag sa sahig. Nakakainis naman! Dapat uso ang katok dito, e!

''Hindi kasi nag-iingat, e,'' bulong ko habang patabog na pinulot iyon. 

Hindi ko pa rin nakikita kung sino 'yung nagbukas. Nang tumayo ako, nagulat ako dahil ang natatawang si Lionel ang naabutan ko. Nakahalukipkip at mukhang natutuwa sa ekspresyon ko.

May kaonting kaba sa 'kin pero hindi ko pwedeng hayaan na kainin ako no'n. Hello? It has been weeks and months! Kung 'di niya 'ko babatiin, edi ako na lang! 'Di pwedeng parehas kaming maarte dahil wala kaming mapapala parehas.

Tumawa ko nang malakas. Iyong sobra kaya't nag echo sa buong floor nitong building. Nakita ko na tumingin si Kia sa akin dahil do'n ngunit agad din naging abala dahil may dumating. It's embarrassing for my part but I don't want this conversation to be awkward that's why I needed to do it.

''Hi!'' natatawa ko pa ring sabi. ''Haba na ng buhok mo ah? Saka nag-iba ka ng earrings?'' puna ko.

Pinasadahan ko siya ng tingin. Isang silver hoop earring na ang suot niya, malayo sa diamond na suot-suot niya dati. His semi-bald is longer than the usual, too. Ngunit kahit gano'n, defined pa rin ang tulis ng panga niya. His grey sweatshirt and denim pants is well-ironed, making him look so comfortable with his outfit. Nakaputing sneakers siya galing sa isang kilalang brand.

Overall, nothing changed. Si Lionel na maloko pa rin ang nasa harap ko. Only that.. he's looking a bit restrained, like someone who's trying to hold back. Nalulungkot tuloy ako dahil alam kong may nagbago. Kung dati, agad-agad niya 'kong inaasar. Ngayon, katahimikan ang bumungad sa akin kahit nangingiti pa rin siya.

''Yeah. Binago ko kasi baka nagsasawa na sina Toran sa itsura ko araw-araw,'' tumawa siya. ''Kararating mo lang?''

Agad akong tumango. ''Yup!''

He slowly nodded as he put his hands on his pockets, trying to look relaxed. ''I see.''

''Uhh.. Aalis ka na ba?'' tanong ko ulit. Gusto ko pang makipag-usap sa kanya kaso mukhang nagmamadali na siya.

''Yup. Do you need anything?''

My shoulder slouched. He really doesn't look interested. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ibang-iba na siya sa Lionel na nakilala ko.

''We can talk later. Hindi kita iniiwasan, if that's what you are thinking,'' he tousled my hair. ''I can take rejections, you know? You're still my friend, don't worry.''

My lips twisted, trying to suppress a smile. That made me feel better. Akala ko mag-iiwasan na naman kaming dalawa. 'Yung tipong para kaming bata na sinasadyang magkasalisihan. Good thing he's sport.

''So..'' I looked at him with a smile. ''Usap tayo? Mamaya?''

''If the opportunity permits,'' he smiled at me, too. The one I used to see when we were together.. before our feelings went in between.

Para kaming tanga na nagpapalitan ng ngiti habang nakaharang sa pinto. Napansin niya siguro iyon kaya't nagpaalam na siya dahil susunduin niya raw iyong Xian.

I went inside with a smile on my face. We really didnt get to talk but at least I know that Lionel and I are good. 

All my life I met different kind of men. Those who can't accept rejections, men who can't handle their ego when women can't reciprocate their feelings, and all that Lionel can oppositely do.  And because of that, I'm grateful that I met someone like him. If I can't turn him as a lover, atleast I can keep him as a friend.