The time had come for Eddy to go to the hospital and bring Brett home. FINALLY!
Seeing his love again...
His heart ached. He could see how tired Brett was. He was longing to get this beautiful boy home so he could take care of him.
Finally being able to hug him again.
It wasn't even 12 hours since their last hug, but his whole body was aching for this moment when he could put his arms around his best friend and pull him close.
He loved how Brett was a bit shorter and generally smaller than him, how he could wrap his arms around him and smell his hair right beneath his nose.
Feeling the warmth from Brett's body against his... the best thing in the whole fucking world.
-I've missed you.
-I've missed you too. So much.
-Ready to come home? Everything packed?
Brett nodded looking up at him, his deep, brown eyes. Eddy felt like drowning. He could die for this guy!
Eddy was happy to see Brett was looking much better today. He got a little more colour to his skin and he seemed a bit more connected in a way, as if he was interacting more.
Finally at home Brett sat down on the couch, it was easy to see him not having any stamina at all.
Eddy offered himself to make some tea and Brett was thankful.
Brett could feel that safe feeling of being HOME, the apartment they got together some years ago, which he was very much proud of having.
Eddy had done his best doing the houseworks as well, Brett noticed, it didn't reach Brett's standards though. None of them was happy about doing those kind of things, but Eddy was pretty much hopeless. Brett smiled to himself.
-What do you wanna do? You need a rest?
-I guess so.
Eddy nodded.
Brett lay down, trying to calm his body. Like, he felt calm actually, but he just... needed the rest. A rest like this was impossible in hospital.
Here at home it was quiet. And airy. He could breathe. He could hear his own thoughts. He could sleep.
Brett watched Eddy sitting in the comfy chair doing something on his phone. He sipped his tea and felt SO grateful. What a lucky guy he was, having this friend doing everything for him.
-Eddy? He waited until Eddy looked up and he could get that eyecontact that made his stomach tickle.
-Thank you. For being so kind to me. For being... YOU.
Eddy smiled and responded with a small, cute laugh.
-I love you, Brett continued.
-I love you too. Eddy still smiling at him.
Brett could feel all the warmth spreading wonderfully in every inch of his body.
Eddy's words, smile, eyes, his tea...
All that safe warmth.
Brett let himself drift away in a warm darkness.
Eddy couldn't contain his feelings from having Brett home again. And that look in his eyes when he told him he loved him earlier, it was... he couldn't remember if that happened before, but he felt a tickling inside, he couldn't decide if it was a good or exhausting one, but he felt uneasy.
He was happy but concerned about it, he felt whole but it was painful as well. Oh, if he could just heal Brett right away!!
Maybe God could do so? Eddy hadn't been praying to God in many years, but now he found himself doing so. It wouldn't hurt in any way though, he was that desperate.
Eddy went to the studio where they were doing most of their filming. He picked up his violin and improvised some tunes, doing nothing of a practise or anything really, just playing randomly.
-Dear God, please, PLEASE make Brett recover! Please give him the strength he needs to overcome this! Please give me the strength I need to take care of him! The strength I need to keep myself together and survive!
And please God, make him able to see how much I love him!
Make me able to confess how much I love him!
Eddy felt cornered. If he didn't tell Brett how he felt, like, REALLY felt, Brett might end up dying before he got to know. That was the worst.
But if Eddy told him now, he could jeopardise their friendship. That would be just as awful as the other option. Both was too heavy, too confusing.
If they didn't get their friendship to work right now, what could Brett do? He was to sick to be sent back home to his family in Australia. He wouldn't even make it to the airport. And all things happening after that... selling the apartment, losing twoset..
Then none of them would have anymore to work with, no income.
They would have to go back to teaching fulltime, which they really didn't want.
Eddy remembered when Brett got sick the first time, how concerned his family was.
Brett's mum asking if Brett was sure he didn't want to come home to stay with them, having his closest family around him all day.
But Brett was absolutely sure and his voice steady when he turned the suggestion down, politely.
-Thanks Mum, I REALLY appreciate it, but I wanna stay here with Eddy. This is where I belong.
Remembering this made Eddy tickling inside, from his hair to his toenails.
He closed his eyes, breathed and tried to focus on expressing all the chaos into the music. He had to get it out of his system before he was going insane.
His violin made some sore sounds.
