Paradox • J.Potter •

• IX •

"Woah surprised you remembered" I hummed and pushed a strand of my hair behind me ear.

The Potter boy slammed the book closed and turned his body to me. His hazel eyes searching my cerulean eyes as he parted his mouth to speak.

"Look I'm sorry ok. I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did wrong. But for the love of Merlin will you just talk to me? I fucking hate when we aren't talking Fawny baby. Honestly I'm sick without you" He spoke quickly and glanced around the group before he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to stand up.

"What the fuck James?!" I spat in surprise and glanced behind me to see Lily watching us with a small nod. I sighed and allowed James to lead me away from the group and little down the shore of the lake, where we were alone.

"I'm not annoyed at you Potter" I state and rip my wrist from his surprisingly gentle grip.

He rose his eyebrow at me and a smug grin lifted on his lips. I scoffed and rolled my eyes at his expression and gestured for him to get on with whatever he wanted to tell me.

"So you are annoyed at me-"

"I literally just said I wasn't"

"Your attitude and the fact you're calling me by my second name says different. You have never called me Potter, Scott" James shrugs and sets the book down on the grass below us. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion at his actions.

"There'a a first time for everything Potter" I replied with a sarcastic smile and turned to walk back to my group of friends. This was getting us no where and honesty it was just riling me up more.

"No! Fawn look I'm sorry alright? Merlin what else do I have to say?" James scoffed and gripped my wrist again to stop me from moving away from him.

"It's not what you say James!" I shout and rip my wrist away from his grasp for the second time today. "It was never about what you said. You're a master at the art of conversation. We all know that! It's what you do! You're a player. You use girls for your own gain and then drop them as if there are nothing more than a fucking cigarette you're not enjoying" I spat and pushed my long hair away from my face as I sent him a harsh glare. He stood in front of me with wide eyes before a stupid fucking smirk spread across his face and he leaned against an oak tree to his left.

"So you're jealous then? You know Fawny baby if you wanted my attention all you have to do is ask" he replied cockily and ran his hazel eyes over my figure slowly.

"Oi! Do that again and I'll give you a broken nose 'ight?" I hissed and snapped my fingers in front of his face to get his attention away from my body.

"And no! I'm not jealous. I'm angry at you James. You give me these stupid little names that only you call me! You constantly have your arms around me, your so overprotective it's suffocating sometimes! You're- why are you looking at me like that?!" I shout and point a finger at him as he watched me with a soft smile and wide eyes. He shrugged innocently and shook his head as if gesturing for me to continue.

"You know what you do! You treat me like I'm yours but I'm not! I'm not!" I finish and narrow my eyes as he nods his head and clears his throat.

"Do you wanna be?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and pushed himself away from the tree to step closer to me.

"Please-" I scoff with a roll of my eyes and extend my hands in front of me to keep him at a distance. "Why would I want to be with a player? Why would I want to be with you when I know you'll just break my fucking heart?" I questioned sarcastically. James' expression fell and he sighed as he glanced back at the group behind us and then to me.

"I didn't kiss you that night. I finally had the chance to after so many years. You where there and- I didn't kiss you" He started and scratched the back of his neck.

Why does he seem shocked?

"Yeah I know. I had a first row seat to that. It wasn't great for me either. Standing there waiting for you to kiss me and you just didn't. See! This is what I'm talking about James. If this is a game, I don't want to play" I shook my head and took a step back away from him as he took one forward.

Don't give in fawny baby

"Fuck Fawn I didn't- I would never. This isn't a game to me ok? Why would I play with your feelings like that? You are the most important person in the world to me and I never want to see you hurt. Not by me, not by anyone. But you had to understand I've been doing those things for years! Calling you those 'stupid' nicknames that I know you love. Touching you, holding you and just being around you. I've always done that Fawn. You've just never noticed how much until now. You wanna know why? Because you've realised you're seeing me differently. I've been waiting for this for six bloody years Fawn! I've waited for you for six years, I've waited for you to blush at my names and giggle as my arms wrap around you. You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you that night. But you still didn't show any signs of wanting that kind of attention from me so I backed off. I gave you the space I thought you wanted. You have just been through something dramatic- traumatic. I wasn't going to take advantage of you in that state and I never will." My eyes were wide throughout James' long speech that I'm sure he had planned before this. Or else I was right. James Potter was a master with his words.

"What? Not gonna say anything now?" He asked with a huff and took a step closer to me. He rested his hand on my cheek and gave me a small smile.

"I like you Fawn. Took you bloody long enough to return the feeling" he chuckled and I couldn't help but blush at not only his words but his actions.

"Ok" I replied with a small nod of my head. James' lips quirked and he tilted his head to the side as he looked at me.

"Ok? That's all I get from my speech? No 'I like you too' or maybe 'Kiss me'?" He asked teasingly to which I bit my bottom lip and shook my head. He groaned at my actions and pulled my bottom lip away from my teeth. He clenched his jaw and glanced away from my lips to connect his hazel eyes with my blue ones.

"Don't do that. I want to kiss you Fawn. Every time I see you I want to take you into my arms and kiss you. I want to feel your body against mine properly, I want to be able to cuddle you in the common room and wrap my arm around you in class. I want people to know you're mine. I want to walk to dinner with you hand in hand, I want to wake up with you in my bed. I want whatever we have to continue" His words shocked me. But yet I didn't say anything. I only took the time to appreciate the man in front of me.

His hair was messy as always, his glasses crooked and slightly dirty from the air around the lake. His jaw was clenched as if he was nervous about what I was going to say. His eyes darted around my face, taking in my features. In that moment I knew Liona was right.

I felt something for him.

"What about those other girls? The ones I see you with? I told you before and I'm saying it again James. I'm not a game" I stated and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as he let out a loud laugh and shook his head.

"Oh angel. Did you really think they could compare to you? At the end of the day who do I come back too? Who do I care for? Fawn I've been in love with you since you first walked into our compartment in first year. When your trunk was almost the same size as your body and your blue eyes wide with curiosity for this world" I didn't realise I was crying until I felt his hand on my face. His thumb swiping across my cheek to collect the salty tears that cascaded down my skin.

"Ok" I replied with a simple nod of my head and covered his hand with my own that still lay on my cheek.

"We'll give this a shot and see if it works-" a loud squeal left my lips as James wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me into the air. His eyes were wide with mischief and delight as he leaned his forehead against my own.

"Oh Fawn it wasn't ever not going to work"

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