Nocturnal Greetings

Karen

My hands are pressed against the sides of my face as I scream my head off while I lay in bed. I had just been awaken by the daily night terrors caused by the death of the only person I can classify as a friend. Every time these night terrors occur, I always whisper to my self, " Garden, please don't go..." Or, " It should've been me!", repeatedly. After saying these things a plethora of times, I cry and rock my self back and forth. Rinse and repeat every night. It was only a matter of time before Mason came into my room and and tries to calm me down. As predicted, Mason knocks on my door, comes in my room and asks, " Another nightmare?"
I was eager to claw his eyes out for asking a stupid question that I've answered numerous times with the same answer.
Yet I hold in my anger and answer, " Yes...", softly.
He sits himself beside me and let's me rest my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arm around mine. After I let some tears roll down my face, I eventually talk.
" I just miss him so much..."
" I know you do..." he says in a quiet tone. " You have to be strong though... You wouldn't want him watching you like this... Especially around the holidays..."
He was right. Christmas was coming near and yet I bawl around as if it was the day Garden was killed. I can't even remember how long it's been since he died. And I haven't gotten over him one bit as each day passed. I just wish... I can be with him one last time...
After I passed out, Mason tucked me back into sleep and left the room. The next morning I woke up and notice the halls are decorated with Christmas lights. Walls have bells and ribbons. I wonder if Mason or the grunts did all of this. I wondered even why these decorations were up even though it wasn't even Christmas yet. I turn around to look for more decorations but instead I see simon walking my way. " Hey," he said.
I only glared at him with the look people describe to me as 'insane' or 'broken'.
" Breakfast is almost ready." He says as he just stares down at me Intimidatingly.
I share no response. He doesn't seem to be bothered so he just heads to the dining room as I follow him. I still can't get the thought of Garden out of my head. I don't even know the details of how he died anyways. Was he stabbed? Beaten? Shot? Just thinking about how he did die just makes me die inside.
Me and Simon walk into the dining room together and we are greeted with some grunts eating an entree of eggs, toast, bacon and several types of juices. I sit my self across from Simon and sit next to Jane and a male grunt. I felt as if I made a mistake sitting next to jane for she isn't the most pleasant person to sit next to while eating. Jane gives me a smile and says, " How is your day going, little miss psycho?"
I stay silent as I serve my self eggs then Jane decides to speak again. " You seem quiet this morning... The holiday spirits kicking in of what?"
I chew on my food then swallow and say, " I rather not have you talk... The only thing that's keeping me from ripping you in half is that I'm being watched by a friend..."
Jane seemed unfazed by my comment. " Well I was only trying to start a conversation..... Hey... If you were to tear somebody apart, would you toy around with the guys and blood that come of out the body? It actually seems like a neat idea!"
I see Simon smirking at what Jane said and I just look at both of them in disgust. I feel as if my food was already coming back up my throat, which actually wasn't a bad thing if I were to vomit. Then id throw up on Jane, but then I end up seeing her roll in it like a pig an a mud bath. I just take my plate to my room and decide to finish eating it there, only to be rid of the people in the dining room. After I finish eating, I stare down at my empty plate for hours, not doing a single thing. I think about Garden, and how he risked his own life to save mine. How he never came back to me after I last saw him run into the alley. It made me angry. It made me sad.

It made me insane.

I throw my plate against the wall and scream in anger. I realized that Garden is no longer with me. No longer to be at my side and can't even be with me for Christmas. It's as if his death had changed my life completely, which it actually did. I no longer worked for the luminous, I live in a mansion that's hidden in the forest, and I changed completely. My eyes are no longer pure and full of life but instead are insane, huge and surrounded by dark circles. My hair is no longer smooth and straight but it is now rough and cut so uneven. I can't help but to only laugh at my changes.

I laugh and scream at everything bad that has happened to me as I hold my pillow and huddle in the corner. As to no surprise, Mason comes into my room and kneels towards me. " Get away from me..." I hiss at him with a faint laugh.
He just gets closer and I try kicking him away screaming to leave me alone. He tries to get a hold of me to calm me down but I keep resisting. I can tell I'm actually hurting him. I can tell it in his expression. He soon grabs me by the shoulders and tells me to calm down multiple times. I can see tears rolling down his face as I calm down.
After I stop hitting him, he holds me close and I rest my head on his lap. He strokes my hair, trying to soothe me, and I just cry silently. We stay silent for a while and I ask him, ".... Why do you trust me.....?"
" you're going to need to rephrase that..." He responds.
" You took me into your team... Knowing I was once a member of the team who took everything from you... Yet you took me in and treat my like one of your own... Why... How were you able to do that..?"
He stood silent for a while and finally said, " Because... You lost something..."
I didn't need an explanation on that. Noticing all the members of Team Nocturne, they all had lost something that ruined their lives. I guess Mason looked past my position in the Luminous and only looked at where I was hurt most.
" Come on," He said as he helps me up. " Let's get you to bed... Christmas is tomorrow, so who knows what we will all get!"
I must've been lost in my insanity if I didn't realize today was Christmas Eve. Was I in my room for than hours? Was I in there for days? I guess it's hard to even realize what you're doing to your self when your blocked out by insanity. Mason tucks me into bed and sits in a chair beside me. " I'll be here if you need anything..." He says quietly.
" Thank you Mason...." I say as I doze off into sleep.
I wake up the next morning realizing that I didn't wake up due to night terrors. I actually feel calm for once. It was weird having to feel this way since a long time. I hear multiple voices coming from outside my room. I leave my room and end up following the voices. As thy get louder I lead my self to the Foyer filled with the members of team Nocturne. Grunts exchanging gifts, more grunts opening gifts that were brought by 'Santa' and Mason standing my the tree that stands In the center of the room. I try to avoid the crowd of members and I see Simon walk up to me and he speaks with an blank tone. " Merry Christmas Karen..."
I was actually surprised he said that to me. Even more shocked he was the first person to say so. " I wanted to give you this," he says as he hands me a present. " Im sorry if I've bothered you when you were in a bad moment in life. I can't say much more. But.... Just take this.... Think of it as... An apology for what I've done to you in the past..." I take the box and untie the red ribbon and tear open the decorative wrapping paper and discover a box.
" Well... Why don't you open the box..?" I look at him and back at the box and open it.
I find a small wooden framed picture of me and Simon together. I was wondering how this picture was taken considering we never had a private moment together.
I assumed Simon knew I was confused since he said, " I had our individual photos photoshopped together... It seemed like a nice idea at first, so yeah..." I did find the gesture sweet so I hug him. I didn't say anything at all except for " Thank you," and, " Merry Christmas".

I sit around for a while head back to my room and lay down as I stare at the picture Simon got me. I hear a knock on my door and let it be. My door eventually opens and Mason greats me. " Why is it that you must only talk to me in my room?" I say lightly. " It does seem to be a pattern, doesn't it?" He replies with a chuckle.
I nod in reply. " Sorry if that upsets you... I just wanted to give you something..." My face lightens up as he pulls a cherish ball with a ribbon out of his coat pocket.
" I know you've been grieving over your loss for quite a while now... I couldn't stand seeing you beating your self up over it... And I know this will never replace the empty space in your heart where Garden once was but... I just want you to have someone to call your own friend again... So here you go..." He hands me the Cherish Ball and I feel the polished outer shell of it and stare at it. " Why don't you open it?" I give him a nervous look and I look back at the Cherish Ball and I open it and it releases a baby Ralts. I almost cry instantly but I just look at the Ralts as it stares back at me blushing.
" I just want you to know I care about you and i will do whatever I can to make you and this team happy." I tear up as I hold the Ralts close and Mason hugs me. " Merry Christmas Karen..."

I look let the Ralts play with my finger and I say under my breath, " Thank you Mason...". Mason leaves my room and I look at the Ralts and tell it, " I will take care of you no matter what.... I will always love you and I will let nothing harm you... You will always be mine... That's a promise..."