Love Me Again

Chapter 2

Cassandra's POV

Everything went smoothly between James and I. Everyone says our relationship is almost perfect at kasal nalang ang kulang. Well, it's true. James is pretty close to my family dahil sa buong durasyon ng relasyon namin ay palagi ko siyang sinasama sa bahay kapag may okasyon o kung nasaan mang galaan sila mama so he or we could spend time with them.

Kung magsosolo man kaming dalawa to spend some quality time together ay saglit lang yun. After that, we would always go to where my family is and bond with them. We would eat out, play sports or go to the beach all together.

My entire family likes him a lot to the extent na mas kinakampihan pa nila si James kapag meron kaming misunderstanding minsan. I'm fine with that. Mas gusto ko din naman na mas gusto siya ng pamilya ko kesa sakin. Pamilya nila ako so hindi nila ako matatakwil at alam kong mahal nila ako. But for them to approve and to love someone I love is an achievement.

Sa totoo lang, I really couldn't ask for more. He's perfect. Kahit noong kinailangan niyang umalis para sa trabaho outside the country ay consistent pa din ang communication namin. He never made me feel neglected. No matter how busy he was, he would always find time for me.

Never ko rin naranasan ang may pagselosan because he never failed to show me how much he loves me and only me. He never entertained any woman and he would always refused his friends' invites just so he could be with me.

Sweet, right?

But guess what?

Habang tumatagal, I'm starting to feel that I'm falling apart. "I'm" kasi ako lang ang nakakaramdam. Ganun pa rin naman siya. Minsan, feeling ko, mas lumala pa dahil mabilis na siyang magtampo kapag hindi siya nakasama sa amin ng mga kaibigan ko. Girls night out kasi, so of course, no boyfriends allowed muna.

Mabilis na rin siya magtampo kapag hindi ko napagbibigyan ang gusto niya. Especially when I don't feel like making love with him, either he would grow cold or he would insist. And since I hate having arguments, bumibigay nalang ako.

However, it didn't turn out well on my part dahil unti-unti na akong nakaramdam ng pagkasakal. I love him, pero parang hindi na kagaya noon coz now, I wanted to break free. Pakiramdam ko, buong buhay ko, sa relasyon nalang naming dalawa umikot.

Dumating kami sa point na kinausap ko siya about how I felt. I asked for some space. I told him to let me go because I wanted to focus on myself for a while.

Pero hindi siya pumayag. He pursued me para hindi ko maipilit ang gusto kong mangyare. So I talked to my parents and told them about it. But I guess, it was a wrong move on my part dahil mas kinampihan nila si James. Ako pa rin ang lumabas na masama dahil pinapakawalan ko raw ang isang matinong lalaki na bihira nalang sa panahon ngayon.

I gave in because of that. Kahit labag sa loob ko ay pinagpatuloy ko ang relasyon namin ni James. We both tried to save our relationship. We succeeded for a few months, pero bumabalik at bumabalik pa rin sa akin ang kagustuhan kong makawala lalo na kapag gusto niyang may mangyari sa aming dalawa.

I know it's not wrong at obligasyon ko din yun bilang girlfriend niya, but heck! I couldn't find myself be interested in doing it anymore. We were active before but now, it's like I grew tired of doing it. Whenever we do the deed, it's like he's the only one making love TO me and I'm just having sex with him. Wala akong maramdaman. Mas nagrerebelde ang puso ko kapag naipilit niya ang gusto niyang mangyare.

I even came to a point na napaiyak nalang ako nung natapos na siya dahil sa sobrang pagkadisgusto ko sa nangyare.

Call me crazy, but yes, it happened.