Shadow Jumping

Counting down

Their piercing scream travelled straight down my spine, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. I tried to call myself. What would my mother do? I remembered her advice from before she left... if you feel scared, count down from 20 in your head, close your eyes and picture your favourite place. My mother always knew what to do, even when she left it felt like she was guiding me from the sidelines. Even so, this time that wasn't enough. The screaming continued, a sharp, stabbing sound that made me shudder uncontrollably.

I didn't want to know what was behind me, but I had to find out.... the pure thought of something terrifying hollering behind my back forced me to attempt to turn around. I braced my arms and swung my arms around, like I did on the trampolines at school. I always found that terrifying, the precision needed to complete a spin without flying off of the trampoline and onto the unforgiving ground below. I think that it worked though, the screaming seemed to be in front of me, right in front of me.

They were so close that I could feel their damp breath on my face. Had the gotten closer? I hadn't felt their breath tickling my neck. I forced my hands forwards, half hoping that I was just going crazy and that I would reach my fingers out into the soft warm covers of my bed. For a moment I found nothing, but then my cold fingers found something warm. At that point the screaming grew louder and the warmth was wrenched from my hand. I drew my arms close to me, forming a shell to protect me from whatever was screaming in my face.

1...2...3....4......oh my gosh.... 5....6.....calm down, it will be fine.....6,7....ok get out of there....11...12.....this counting thing really doesn't work mum... Where are you?!

That was my cue. I curled up as much as I could despite the force dragging me down and shuddered as tears flooded down my cheeks, dropping off the end of my chin. For an odd moment it seemed to stop moving entirely, the tears falling much slower than I was... it was a strangely beautiful thought, being surrounded by slow moving water droplets. Nevertheless, I could still not find the courage to contain my tears, allowing them to flow through my eyes like a waterfall. That's what it felt like, the falling, like falling down a waterfall with no idea as to what lies at the bottom.

My fear was uncontrollable now... my breaths erupting in load sobs to match the blood curdling screams in front of me. It was so much easier to let my fear escape than to act calm and in control. That is the real me, the wimp, the coward the useless one that can't look after themself. I'm not ashamed. That's who I am. I am scared, I am weak but I am also honest.

That thought helped to calm me, my breathing slowly returning to normal. I sniffed quietly in the darkness, reminding me of the nights I spent awake after my mother left. But this time I wasn't alone, although it sounded like it. The screaming had finally dwindled to a quiet whimper. Much less intimidating.

I wasn't certain but...it felt like I was slowing down. My hair started to hang down closer to my shoulders as it twisted around my neck getting tighter and tighter until...

I don't remember.