*** This story is Liams POV from Bad Boy Abused. ***
It contains detailed abuse both physical and sexual. Although this is telling the same story as BBA, the perspective from each character paints a different picture and I welcome you to read them b...
Get over it Liam, if you can't handle that then how are you going to get through this?
I continued kissing her hoping she didn't notice my flinch. She grabbed my jacket and slowly started easing it off my body, I followed suit and removed hers letting both items drop to the floor. The air hit my body almost instantly, feeling colder than usual in contrast to the heat that was going on between Olivia and I.
Next she took aim for the clasp that held my jeans in place and I allowed her access, slipping them down and exposing more of my skin. One item of clothing closer to the thing I feared the most. I swallowed down my fear, letting it rest uneasy in the bottom of my stomach with the floating butterflies and went for her t.shirt.
"Nice choice" I said as I revealed her beautiful body wearing the underwear we picked out on our first date. She looked mouthwateringly good and my body throbbed in response to the sight of her but my heart pounded and my hands felt clammy.
You're not going be able to do this Liam, why even try?
Since I made no efforts to take her jeans off she did it for me, slowly lowering them down inch by inch with the help of a sexy shimmy to her hips. There was one thing left to remove and I knew she had purposely waited until last to give me time to prepare for her removing my shirt. I don't think there could ever be enough time to prepare for what I was about to do.
"You ready?" She asked gently.
I could say no.
Back away and be a coward, too scared of reliving those childhood moments through unwanted memories to follow through with what I truly want. Too scared of letting my guard down and being truly vulnerable in front of this girl, giving her the power to destroy me physically and mentally. Too scared of trying and chickening out halfway through, letting her down and letting myself down.
Or I could say yes.
Have a shot at normality, give her everything. My closeness, my intimacy and feel it back in return. This patient, beautiful girl who doesn't judge me, knows all of my secrets and still loves me in spite of them. She is my safety.
"Yes." I whispered really quietly, trying to convince myself with my own words.
Her fingers grabbed the edge of my t.shirt and slowly she started rising it as the cold air hit my exposed flesh with every inch she revealed. I closed my eyes, held my breath and remained as still as I possibly could.
It's going to be okay Liam. You can do this ... can't you?
She pulled the material over my head and dropped it to the floor. My armour was off and I stood before her, vulnerable, able to be broken. She stepped forward with hands out ready to touch but on instinct I backed away. I regretted it almost instantly and words of hate screamed at me from inside my head.
"Sorry." I said shyly as I battled my inner self.
"That's okay, I can give you a minute."
Fuck sake Liam, get a grip of yourself. Your reaction is such a mood killer.
I took a deep breath and then stepped forward into her reach she was careful not to touch me but allowed me to skim my hand over her smooth stomach. I wanted her body next to mine so badly, I wanted to feel her breathing against my skin and feel her arms wrapped around me protectively. I wanted to be close to her.
She reached up and unhooked her bra, slowly slipping the mint green straps down her tanned arms. I moistened my lips with the tip of my tongue and watched the seductive display she was putting on for me. My eyes wandered all over her naked breasts, soaking in how perfectly round they were and her blushed nipples had already hardened with desire.
She lowered her fingers down to the waistband of her delicate lace panties and slowly started bringing them down. She kept her eyes fixated on me but my eyes roamed shamelessly all over her naked body. She was pure perfection.
"You're so beautiful." I managed to throw out in a raspy voice.
She pointed at my boxer shorts with her chin and I realised I still had them on, for a moment I forgot I was even in the room but I slipped them down freeing my enclosed manhood that was in desperate need to escape.
This is it Liam.
I stepped forward, closing the gap between us but not feeling brave enough to let our bodies touch just yet and caressed the skin on her cheek with my thumb.
"Liam, you're shaking." She pointed out.
I wish she didn't. I knew I was trembling, there was a stench of fear coming from my body. It was so strong and powerful but I needed to be stronger, even more powerful. I needed to overcome my fears.
You can do this Liam.
It's not the same as when you were a child.
You want this.
You're safe with Olivia.
"Liam you're not ready for this, don't push yourself." She was trying to be the voice of reason, my saviour, my safety net. But I didn't need protecting from her.
"Liv, this is ready." I grabbed her hand and placed it over my length. Feeling the warmth of her skin touch me in my most intimate area made it throb beneath her hand and made me want her even more. "This is ready." I moved her hand up and sprawled her fingers out against my heart, letting her feel how fast it was beating. "It's just this, that is not." I moved her hands up and tapped my head.
"It's a mental block and the only way to get past it is by going through it. I won't let darkness win. I'm ready."
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