Before I came out I talked to one of my friends Cody. He's been out since 7th grade and I was just realizing I might've been trans. Cody helped me a lot he asked me questions on how I felt and he helped me pick my name 'Matthew'. I had my friends call me that for a month before I finally thought I should come out. When I came out I definitely didn't get the reaction I thought I'd get nor the one I wanted. I came out at Meijer in the pots and pans section to my mom and little brother. It was hard on my mom she didn't quite understand I suppose~ my mom stopped in her tracks and looked at me then shouted
"you're my only girl! how do you know?! you're 16 years old you don't know Madelyn" what she didn't know was the fact I've known deep down since 4th grade since the first time I got my hair cut short like a boy. My mom was upset at the time and my stepdad didn't adres it I didn't come out to him he uses fag as an insult but hes almost 50 its kinda expected. My mom told him and she told everyone to get advice. You see she knew I liked guys, girls, and anyone who was remotely nice. She knew I was gay and she didn't care but being transgender meant a whole new set of problems and issues from the world she wanted to protect me from. She was worried to this day her and my stepdad are worried ill be a target of a murder. My stepdad he is so amazing I love him so much and he loves me he even calls me Matt often. When i talk about him I usually say my dad but I want to talk about the sperm giver. He is a bum there is no sugar coat for it he never cared about me he loves my brothers though Drew and Cody (my big brother not friend). The sperm giver never texted me on my birthday, Christmas, Halloween, or any other holiday he didn't care I was just a kid he was forced to pay for till I'm 18. I'm so lucky my mom left that bastard when I was a baby and I am extremely lucky she met my dad Jamie. My sperm giver married my step mother who would spend her time talking trash about my mom like somehow shes better than my mom. When my older brother Drew outed me to my stepmom she slapped me in a biker bar and I had to just sit there and take it because I didn't have my listens so I had to stay and listen to her tell me I'm going to hell. I was always the runt of that family I'm the smallest almost I'm just lucky my 10 year old sister isn't taller than me yet but the 15 year old one build like a fat trucker she is. You see I am 5'2 and I'm skinny and shorter than all of them who all are 6ft or slightly shorter. They always made fun of me for my height and how short my hair is they never cared but my mom and stepdad did and I will always love them. They raised me to be strong and independent and to speak up for what I think is right. I'm 17 years old now and I have been out for almost 2 years seeing in a few months ill be 18. I just wanted to share my story just in case someone else might be going through this or worse I want you to know that things do get better may not be now but in a year or two or maybe even a few months. Just remember you are loved and life is worth living trust me a random gay stranger on the internet
~Matthew out
