At the End of the Garden

"Adrianne.."

I giggled and waved a hand at my mother. I hadn't spent the entire night drowning my problems in drink to have them resurfaced the second I reached home.

She had long given up on me, but some nights she still lay awake, waiting for me to return home. She knew I went out every night. As she knew I returned every night, completely safe and sound, if not a little tipsy..

"I'm going to bed, mom"

What did she care anyway? What did anyone care?

What did I care?

I had everything I would ever want. I was adored by everybody I knew. They all wanted to be close to me. I had boys on their knees begging to be seen with me. I went out ever night to have fun. I was fairly smart and pretty athletic. People aspired to be like me.

So what was my problem?

I stepped heavily up the stairs, still laughing at nothing in particular. I pushed my door open loudly, kicked off my shoes and just collapsed onto the bed, drifting to sleep in mere seconds.

Everything is suddenly very bright. Her bed is gone and she sits up in the dreamy nothingness. She says nothing. As is the way with dreams, she simply knows. She doesn't know what she knows, she just knows.

Her eyes become accustomed to the light and she realizes its source. It moves. Brilliant colours surround her and the light. Brilliant colours that nobody has ever seen before. She doesn't see them. The light is blinding, yet she cannot look away. She feels warm. In some distant part of her mind she thinks how this is a much better way of drowning her problems.

The light is close now. So close. She is safe, calm. She feels amazing in its embrace. Embrace?  How does she realize the light is embracing her? It is taking form.. How?

Enough questions. Questions require answers. Answers are unnecessary in this place. It  smiles at her and begins to fade.

No! What are you doing?

The colours begin to run and pale.

Where are you going..?

She is scared now.

No!

"Adrianne.."

That voice. It is so sad..

"Adrianne..."

It is slowly fading..

"Adrianne.."

Please don't.. no..

"Adrianne.."

"Adrianne!"

I did't want the voice to leave me.. And this new voice to take over.. It sounded familliar, rough and raw in comparison to the melodic sound of the light..

"Adrianne!"

THUMP

All of a sudden, my head was pounding and the memories of the previous night returned to me.

THUMP

My phone was buzzing. who could possibly want me this early?

THUMP

I already knew that as soon as I opened my eyes the headache would be intensified.

"It's your own fault.. stupid girl"

My mother left my room, I heard the door slam. Slowly, I opened my eyes, only to be greeted by a bright shining light. This wasn't the light from before. This was the cold winter sun shining into my window and brightening my white walls. It did nothing other than to make the constant pounding in my head that much more painful. I was used to waking up like this.

I realized once again that I hadn't changed into nightclothes, I supposed it didn't matter.

I grabbed the phone and sat up. One of my many, many friends had texted me about yet another party tonight. Brilliant.

Of course I was going. I had to go. I always went to parties. All night, every night. I loved parties.

Why didn't I want to go?