My life is a mess.
I've been living in a world full of hypocrites.
Living in a house that is full of close minded people.
People who doesn't even consider me as a family.
All I really want is freedom. Freedom to choose what I want. To do what I want. And to speak the things that I badly wanna say.
But, they say, when you badly want something, it will not come. It's actually true. Before, I have tried to kill myself. I want to die. I cut my wrist, poison my self, tried to hang from the ceiling. But, no effect. All it did to me was a lost of consciousness and a strong immune system.
Just... what the actual fvck?
I tried killing myself yet all it did to me was good shits. The acids that I drank, which are muriatic acids and those kind of stuffs, it only made me stronger.
FOR PETE'S SAKE! ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO DIE!
But, unexpectedly, after a year or two of attempting suicide, some good things happened to me.
Me and my family get along just fine. I became closer with my cousins, with my relatives. I was the introvert type that is why it is so hard for me to mingle and get out of my shell.
I still am, actually. But, I somehow managed to be comfortable with them and tried socializing. I admit that I suck on that department but, at least I tried. No regrets there.
But, right now, things got a little messy again.
And the freedom that I've tried forgetting, it is trying to come back. Letting me crave a lot more. Begging me to go.
Is my freedom worth it? Or will I regret doing it?
What is freedom if you're lonely and alone?
But what is the use of having someone around yet you're caged?
Should I risk it?
