A Painful Place (Walking Dead Fanfiction)

Chapter 17: Sleepwalking

“What the fuck?” Abraham screamed as he lunged at the man again, but Rick stepped in front of him.
“Abraham, you need to calm down-“
“You don’t know what I’ve been through!” he yelled, shoving Rick backward. “I’ve traveled across the goddamn country for him! I did everything to keep this sack of shit alive, and for what?” Abraham was so angry that tears streamed down his face as he pushed closer to Eugene, who was still in the fetal position on the floor.
“People died so this asshole could live. Why?” he screamed. “WHY?”
Eugene propped himself up on his elbow and faced the sergeant. “I only did what I had to do,” he answered. “I’m not strong. I’m not brave. I damn sure can’t get by on my looks. The only things I have going for me are that I’m incredibly intelligent,” he paused, “and I’m a good liar. This was my only option.” He began to sob again. “I was scared. I was so scared. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
Abraham picked up a can of beans from the table next to him and flung it against the wall, barely missing Glenn’s head, before storming outside. Rick followed behind him as the rest of the group stood frozen, staring at the dejected man on the floor.

Rick found Abraham sitting on the front porch, his head in his hands. “I led a lot of people to their deaths because of this bullshit mission. They’re all dead because of me,” he confided.
“You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking that way,” Rick replied.
Abraham shook his head and wiped a tear from his eye. “I put this above everything else. I thought making it to Washington was the most important thing. Christ, I’m stupid.”
Rick didn’t want to insult the man by attempting to coddle him, so instead he got down to business. “So,” Rick began, “what do we do now? Do we still go to Washington?”
“What’s the point?” Abraham shrugged.
“We have enough food for now, but our group is large. It won’t last long, and there aren’t many places to scavenge here that haven’t already been picked through. You have to figure the densely populated areas were the first to fall. They’re more likely to still have food. We might as well go.”
Abraham sat silently as he considered what Rick was saying.
“You never know,” Rick continued, “even if Eugene was lying, it’s possible there’s still a place for us there. There definitely isn’t one here anymore.”
Abraham nodded. “Alright.”
Rick clapped a hand on the man’s back before he stood to go in side, allowing Abraham a minute to himself.

As stunned as the others were about what had just transpired in front of them, few of them could say they were actually surprised. When Rick reentered the house, they were all whispering amongst themselves. Eugene had moved over to sit against the wall. He rested his head on his knees, his hands over his ears to avoid hearing what the others were saying about him. He was ashamed of what he had done, and embarrassed he wasn’t an actual asset to the group.
“We’re still going to Washington,” Rick announced as he closed the door behind him. “There’s nothing left for us here, so we’re going to press on.”
“Don’t you think it’s dangerous to head toward a big city like that?” Glenn asked, daring to question the leader. “You saw what Atlanta was like. DC is even more populated.”
“That’s exactly why we’re going,” Rick responded. “If it fell early there should still be supplies for us to scavenge.”
“I’ve always wanted to go to Washington,” Maggie admitted, drawing a smile from Rick.
“We won’t be doing much sight-seeing,” he joked, “but this is your opportunity. Get some sleep, guys. I’ll take first watch with Abraham. Tilly, you up for taking second watch with Daryl?”
“Yeah, no problem,” she nodded.
“Thank you. Go get some rest. I’ll get you up when it’s your turn.”
With that, the group spread throughout the house, each picking a place to make their bed for the night.
Most of them chose spots on the floor of the spacious living room, but Tilly wanted to be alone. She grabbed a blanket and made her way upstairs. The first room she came to had obviously belonged to a teenage girl. She walked inside and laid the blanket and her pack on the bed before examining the contents of the room.
On the dresser sat a photograph of two girls, both of smiling widely. Their hair was coifed to perfection and they wore long gowns. Tilly thought back to her own senior prom. She and Lana had decided not to waste their time on the idiot boys in their class and instead went as each other’s date. They were spared the romantic pressures that generally dominate prom night, and spent the entire time making fools of themselves on the dance floor.
She smiled at the memory, but the pain in her chest was undeniable. She felt a void in her heart, like half of her was missing. She ran her fingers gently over the photograph and wished all of her personal belongings hadn’t been left at Terminus. What she wouldn’t give to pull out her favorite photo of her and her best friend and be able to see Lana’s smiling face once more.
She wiped a rogue tear from her cheek with the back of her hand and went to curl up on the bed, afraid of the dreams she might face once sleep finally came.