15th of April 1912
Drowning.
He was drowning and couldn't get himself to swim to the surface. There was no reason to. His time was fast approaching, and he was determined not to spend the few minutes he had left uselessly thrashing and suffering in the water. After all, he had never been much of a fighter. Giving in and yielding in the face of adversity or danger had always been a far too tempting option for him.
On her deathbed -and nearly blind with delirium- his grandmother Agatha had confided with him that now that she was growing closer to drawing her last breath, she could see her whole life flashing through her eyes.
"Indeed Nana, you truly were always right" he thought as his mind started forming a clear picture of the earliest memory he had.
He felt himself smiling softly. He could see his seven-year old self running around the prairie near his family's house in the countryside, while his older sister Elizabeth -only 9 at the time- merrily chased him.
Oh Beth, you were an angel in the flesh.
He could also see himself 5 years later in his family's parlour, clad in black and staring down at his dear sister's lifeless body. She had contracted scarlet fever a few months ago and just recently lost the battle.
"My sister and I have never had anything in common" he had said at her funeral, barely able to keep his tears from falling "but I will forever be grateful to her for always keeping her cool around the troublemaker she had for a brother. It will forever be unbeknownst to me how she managed to remain calm whenever I approached her with the intention of whining over the petty falling outs I had had with my friends"
Sadly, angels are always called to heaven earlier.
Fortunately, his mind quickly brought to him memories of happier times.
Suddenly, he was on his parents's twentieth wedding anniversary, hanging out with his friends Claude and Enoch while they -thoroughly drunk- attempted to sing an ode to the wonders of the trifle.
Don't be too sad when you learn of my passing, boys. You both know I would want you to keep a stiff upper lip and enjoy life as I now won't be able to.
A bittersweet sensation invaded his body at the sight of the next memory.
He saw the first time his eyes had laid upon his beautiful Adelaide. He was just 18 -fresh out of high school and quite over the moon at the prospect of starting university in order to take over his father's business- when he saw her. Her snow-white skin contrasted marvellously against her wine-coloured gown, her hair -of the darkest obsidian imaginable- was carefully tied up in an elegant pompadour and her eyes were of the deepest shade of blue. All in all, she looked like a regal ice queen.
And yet.
And yet when he -completely awestruck by her fairness- approached her, and soon after made her smile and laugh, the ice that seemed to cover his Adelaide like a veil thawed and revealed her best quality: her warm, gentle and intelligent personality.
Adelaide, my dear, how much I loved you from the very beginning we met, and how sad I am that our hearts were separated sooner than they should have.
This memory of Adelaide seemed to trigger many similar ones, as he was quickly gifted with a detailed story of his and his dearest's life.
They had first bonded over their shared love for the new technological advances -the automobile and the moving pictures advertised in Paris as "films" were special fascinations of them both- although they promptly moved on to more personal territory: how Beth's death had left an emptiness in him no friends nor social event could fill, how her most well-kept desire was to attend university and pursue a career as a lawyer. This level of intimacy they had reached was probably what made him fall completely and irrevocably in love with Adelaide.
In fact, now that he thought about it, that was exactly what he had blurted out to her when he had proposed out of the blue at a party.
"Adelaide, I love you. I am completely and irrevocably in love with you. When I first saw you, your beauty struck me, but when I truly got to know you, the purity and ambition that reside within you whispered, no, shouted to my soul that my feelings for you were well past that of a silly boy's fancy. I love you, Adelaide, will you do me the honour of marrying me?"
Utterly shocked, his beloved had said yes, and made of him the happiest man alive.
They had got married seven months after the proposal, on the 16th of April of 1903, and one year later, their daughter Elizabeth -named in honour of his lost sister- had been born.
Lizzy, Lizzy. You have made your father proud, never forget that. You and your mother were the joy of my life.
Finally, his mind replayed the last days.
Lizzy had been thrilled when they told her they would go on a cruise. Especially since the Titanic was one of the biggest ships to date, and that its company had considerable prestige.
It was meant to be a journey for his family to spend some quality time together -him and Adelaide were usually full of work. However, yesterday night their ship had hit an accursed iceberg. Much to everyone's dismay, the damage done to the Titanic was beyond reparable.
The crew had rushed to the lifeboats, and overcome by anxiety he had taken his wife and daughter's hands and thrust them into a nearly-full boat.
"This is it" he'd thought "There's not enough space for me. I may die tonight, but my spirit will live on in their hearts"
Eyes welled with tears, he had said his last goodbye to his dearest Adelaide and his lovely daughter Elizabeth. Their screaming and crying as he told them how much he loved them had been hard to withstand, but nonetheless he was assured that letting them live was what had to be done. Otherwise he would never forgive himself.
Goodbye. I have loved you both on earth. I will still love you beyond it, in the realm of the unknown.
The Titanic had sunk a few moments ago.
Calmly, he breathed in.
He could feel the water entering and filling his lungs as everything around him went black.
At last, he let himself be wrapped in Death's sweet embrace.
He died.
