PLEONEXIA - Mammon x Reader x Satan

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Midnight Wizz

Satan stared at me for the longest time, completely taken aback by my sheer audacity.
"Ch..chuck a what? You know what? Nevermind. Fine, I'll escort you, but make it quick. Only so I don't get one of Lucifer's twisted punishments if you do end up in the stomach of some wild beast."

Careful to not wake Luke, we crept out of the tent and walked a short ways away from the camp-site, where I began hunting for the perfect urination bush.
"Y'know, you're a lot nicer than you let on. Dare I say, you may even be a gentleman?" I piped up, finally choosing where I wished to mark my territory and pulling my pants down.

"Don't get the wrong idea. I'm simply doing what Lord Diavolo wants me to do. I couldn't care less." Satan muttered, facing the opposite direction as I did my business. "The one and only fascination I have with the human world is their literature. Nothing more."

But you still helped me out...

"Well, in my lowly human eyes, you've already saved me from being eaten by those demons at the RAD newspaper club or whatever it was, and you distracted Luci for me, too. And now you're guarding me whilst I empty my bladder, so I'm choosing to label you as a nice guy." I stated confidently, finishing up and sorting myself out, spinning the roll of toilet paper I had brought with me on my finger.

Even in the dark, I saw Satan roll his eyes, but he still waited for me to reach his side before he began to walk.
"That kind of mindset could very well get you killed down here." I knew he was right, but I was sure I didn't have to worry about that when it came to him, or the other demon brothers.

Before I could respond with something idiotic or surprisingly witty, a rustling sound met my ears, and I instinctively leapt behind Satan, grasping the back of his shirt.
"I..I told you! It's Academy Award winning actor and film-maker, Nicholas Cage!"

Sure, I said something stupid, but I was actually kind of scared. The Devildom was brand new to me, and I wasn't sure what to expect, especially out in the middle of the forest. Much to my surprise, Satan shifted to properly stand in front of me, staring into the dark.

Out of a thicket hopped a small, run of the mill rabbit, twitching its nose before lolloping away and out of sight again. Groaning out a sigh of relief, I relaxed, allowing my head to fall against Satan's back.

He protected me again...

"You just proved my point..." I murmured, hoping he wouldn't pull away and leave me to become a late night beast snack. "Trust me, it isn't like I want to rely on you guys as much as I do...I'm just...not great at things..."

While still somewhat tense, Satan didn't try to push me away. He just sighed, glancing over his shoulder.
"I mean, I wouldn't say that, exactly. You're just...different. Not in the worst way..."

The way he just said it doesn't sound as bad as when others have called me that...

Not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than I already had, I stepped away and up to his side, walking along in the dark.
"The other day you mentioned lending me a book. The Great Gatsby, if I recall correctly. Would...that offer still be on the table..?"

Perking up, I nodded enthusiastically, slightly pinching his sleeve so if I fell down a hole or tripped over a root, he'd be coming down with me.
"Absolutely! I have a copy in my bookshelf at home...Maybe Barbie will be nice enough to get it for me? I think you'll really like it, if you're into classic literature. Oh! I have some stuff by George Orwell, too! You'd love his books! I-"

My lips zipped when I realised Satan was staring down at me, and I silently tore into myself. I talked a lot, I knew that. Not much of what I ever said made sense, either, so I was used to being judged, or told to shut up.

"Here's the deal." Satan didn't sound angry, or even remotely pissed off when he spoke. "In exchange for lending me these books you're talking about, I'll tutor you in whatever you need help with for school. Does that sound fair?"

Oh my god? He doesn't hate me?!

"Deal! Let's pact on it!" It was worth a shot, in my opinion, and I held my hand out, squeezing my eyes shut just in case he decided to sock me in the face. Instead, I felt his hand take mine, and I flinched.
"Do you think a pact would piss Luficer off?"

Opening my eyes, I blinked a few times, trying to make out his expression in the dark.
"Oh, shit, yeah, he didn't seem too thrilled about my pact with Beel, so maybe-"
"I, Satan, Avatar of Wrath, hereby offer my life and my blood to you, for all eternity."

There was that strange heat again, just like when Beelzebub had recited those words, and I visibly shuddered. Satan released my hand, and I flexed it a few times.
"I...Wow. Okay, I did not expect you to actually pact with me. Uh...thank you?"

Satan snorted, kind of dryly, but not as snobbish as it usually seemed.
"Just don't go abusing it. That was purely to piss Lucifer off, and Mammon, as a bonus. Come on, it's getting late." He reached out and tugged me into a pull by the front of my shirt collar, and I followed obediently.

Does that mean he kind of wants to be proper friends too? This is great! Oh! I'm also closer to helping out that Bugglesnore guy! Sweet!

"So...does that mean no summoning you at four in the morning when I'm bored and want someone to play with..?" I smirked, and I didn't need to see his face to know he was glowering.

"I already regret this..."

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***It's me, ya bitch, who just so happened to get reminded of this after starting the Nightbringer game.

No promises I'll keep it up, though.

Next Time: Twelve Raccoons In A Fursuit***