p • r • e • s • s • u • r • e

Except When It Isn't

God, I'm losing my mind

Tony gets up, his joints audibly complaining.

Nobody's around so he sneaks downstairs to melt into his work. He'd been building new repulsors for his suit-they used way too much battery.

He worked for a good hour-and-a-half before his vision started to melt and his hands cramped up. He sighs and sips his stale coffee, glaring at his still—packaged flatscreen.

Tony decides to send it to Peter and May instead of it meeting the same fate as its predecessors when he inevitably rages against the media at it.

I think they still have a box set...

The engineer massages his temples before jamming his eyes into his skulls until he feels like they'll pop and he sees fractals in the static beneath his lids.

God, I hate Mondays.

It wasn't long before he walked over to his couch and proceeded to stare at the empty space where his TV used to be. His mind travels back to Yinsen and the Ten Rings, back to Jericho and how obnoxious he was.

Is.

Am.

He fidgets with his fingers before relenting and reaching down to open that little drawer in his sofa, only to find an empty glass.

"Dammit," he mutters.

So he gets up and grabs his laptop and works. And works. And works until Bruce waltzes in and startles the shit out of him.

"Jesus Banner, ever heard of knocking?"

"Nope."

"Come on. We're getting dinner."

"Can't we just stay here?"

"Nope."

Tony grumbles.

"Steve's making salad and I don't want to suffer through that."

"Fair enough."

Tony types for about thirty more seconds and then snaps his laptop shut, marching up the staircase after Bruce. He throws on a jacket and looks out the window to see that it's pouring. The engineer turns on his heel and digs his rain jacket out of the closet, shoving assorted capes and battle axes out of the way.

Bruce stands in the elevator and Tony follows.

"No weapons in the coat closet, people!" He shouts to the kitchen as the doors close.

The capsule shoots down; they get out at the garage and Tony calls up a Tesla roadster with his phone. Bruce drives to a rustic little restaurant on the outskirts of the city; one of those places that are cramped and hidden, but the food is insanely good. They sit down and order quickly.

"So when can you schedule the surgery?"

Tony rolls his eyes.

"This again?"

"We gotta do it."

"Why?"

Bruce narrows his eyes at him.

"You know why."

"And you know I'll always find a way to get what I want. Need."

"You don't need it."

The engineer props his chin on his hand.

"It makes me who I am."

"That's bullshit."

"So's your argument."

The waitress drops their plates off kindly, grabbing a selfie with the two avengers in the process.

They bicker more, only ending in Tony being an asshole. They're standing outside the restaurant now, and cold rain beats down outside the overhang.

"Look, Bruce, you're great, okay? But I don't need you to protect me! I'm fine! "

"No you're not! You couldn't be further from fine!"

"And who are you to judge that, huh?"

"Someone who cares, Tony. You tear yourself apart but you're hurting the people around you, don't you see that? You are so, incredibly narcissistic that you wallow in self pity and assume the worst about yourself because then you don't have to worry about other people!"

Bruce stops his tirade to breathe, and Tony's face is stone.

The scientist pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Look, I-I'm sorry, I just...I care."

Saying nothing, Tony walks around to the driver's side of the car and waits for Bruce to follow. He does, after a minute and the engineer speeds away from the curb, then continues driving in an eerie calm. Finally, he speaks up.

"You think this fun, for me?"

His voice is hushed, his features betraying nothing. The rain pelts down on the windshield like it's trying to flood in and drown them. Tony finds he wouldn't entirely mind that.

"As a team, we have to make sacrifices that sometimes hurt people. Greater good, and all that. It's not exactly fun for us."

Tony swears he say anything, fearing he might lose control, fearing some demon he's hiding will slither out of his mouth and scare the scientist away. Bruce breaks the silence.

"But it's necessary."

"Except when it isn't."

"As you well know, it still doesn't pardon what we did. Sure, we've saved more lives than we can count. Billions, indirectly. But what about all the casualties? What about all the people Hulk hurt? What about Ultron, what about Bucky, what about-"

"Banner."

Tony's voice is steely and resigned, barely containing something.

"I'm just trying to help."

"Can it."

They pull into the garage and Tony doesn't even bother parking properly. He gets out and takes the elevator up, intentionally leaving without Bruce.

The scientist sits in the car with his head in his hands, thinking.

Boy did I fuck up.

A/N

Yes, I'm a terrible person for not updating. Just balancing all my summer shit, work, school shit and this is kinda difficult.