just for you (years 3-5)

chapter 64

i'm curled up on the floor now, tucked into the corner of the stall.

the nausea still hasn't gone away.

i can't get the image out of my head. it's awful. they can't be-

no. draco wouldn't.

but they have been rather close lately. i mean that's where he's been getting all of his information. she tells him everything... and he listens

he trusts her. he believes what she tells him.

he doesn't trust me.

i could repeat a billion times over that i'm not going to go to cedric, that i don't have feelings for him. and he would never trust it. never.

but she tells him something once and he rolls with it. even picks fights with me about it.

is this why he won't tell anyone we're together?

i wipe under my eyes with a fresh piece of paper, sniffling and then standing up. i take a few deep breaths. i'm not about to be heartbroken over draco malfoy.

but i am.

will i ever admit that?

no. probably not.

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hour three (pansy's pov)

i walk down from my dorm. i heard screaming. i take the last few steps slowly, not wanting to interrupt whatever's transpiring in the common room.

but it's gone silent now, except for soft, muffled sobs coming from around the corner. i step as quietly as possible down the last few stairs, tilting my head to look around the corner.

there, in the very back of the room, is where i see him.

draco

now, do i wish i was the one that makes him smile the way she does? do i wish he looked at me the way he looks at her, like she's the only girl in the room? do i wish he liked me enough to cry over me, to have the power to expose the person living underneath his tough exterior?

yes. of course i do.

but that's not me. and it never will be.

so all i can do is sit by, and watch him beat himself up over every little thing, every mistake he makes as he navigates his first real relationship... and try and help the best i can.

it's not like he can talk to the guys about this stuff. none of them are big on feelings.

i'm all he has.

i tell him everything, of course. i want to make sure he gets no surprises. i want to make sure she's treating him right. sneaking around with a hufflepuff is not my definition of treating him right.

"hey" i say quietly, coming around the corner fully. draco looks up at me, wiping off his eyes. he nods a little. i think if he opened his mouth he would start crying again.

i walk over slowly and sit down, "tell me what happened"

he goes through everything, having to take breaks every now and then to collect himself.