𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 (𝙆. 𝙏𝙚𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙤 𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙎𝙏)

XVIII

The girl put her hand on her chest, as if she was trying to keep her heart together. If only she had been there.

She should've been there.

And for the time that she was there, she just watched.

She watched her sister... she watched her give her life to her.

And it wasn't fair.

Because after all she's put her through, her life was barely enough to compensate for the pain that Y/n had felt.

Perhaps Y/n was still feeling that pain even if she was unconscious.

"I'm selfish..." he said blankly.

"How did you even love me...?" his tone filled with disbelief.

"I wish I was like you... Y-you were never selfish."

"I wish I could be as good as how you used to see me..."

His heart was breaking just seeing her lie on the hospital bed.

And it broke even more when images of how he imagined she cried flashed through his mind.

How she kept it all to herself and how she finally let herself break down to pieces.

"Please  wake up..." he shut his eyes tight in frustration hoping his pleads would miraculously wake her up.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to hold your hand when you weren't okay...

I'm sorry you had to go through it all alone...

I'm sorry I- I'm sorry that I put you through even more pain..." he stuttered during the last part.

What he felt can't compare to the way she felt.

The pain he felt was nothing to Y/n.

It wasn't even a fourth of it.

"My apology probably means nothing to you and please believe me when I say I understand why." he began to talk faster even though she laid unconscious and had no choice but to listen to what he had to say.

"I'm s-sorry..." his voice broke along with his heart.

"I'm sorry for not telling you back then that I-I love you!.." his tone turned into a shout while saying the last words.

"I'm sorry that I didn't notice you had to hear me say it everyday because no one else will..." he frustratedly runs his hand through his messy hair.

He looked at her closed eyes as she slept peacefully.

There was no point, she wasn't waking up.

Maybe she didn't even wanna wake up.

"I'm sorry that I... I never told you that you were enough." he said calmly with frustration and sadness mixed in his eyes, looking at Y/n.

"Because you are..." he reached out to grab her hand and hold it with his, wrapping his warm hands around hers.

He gently directs her hand to kiss it like he used to.

S/n, along with her parents, watched the sight of the dark haired boy telling her siser those words.

The words that they couldn't say.

The words that they've never said.

"You're enough..." he tells her.

"I was just selfish and stupid." he says the truth.

He rests his arms on the bed and laid his head on top of it once again, admiring her.

Kuroo stayed like that for a few minutes, just staring at her, foolishly hoping she might wake up.

The boy lifted his head up to lean closer to her.

"You'll be loved, Y/n."

"No..."

"You are loved, Y/n." he spoke the truth.

"You are so much more than just enough." he tells her as he presses his lips against the top of her head.

Walking away from the side of Y/n's bed, he sat at the more comfortable couch across the room.

His head leaning on the backrest and facing the ceiling.

Eyes slowly relaxing as he finally got those words out of his chest.

He was beggining to fall asleep.

Only to be interrupted.

A deafening beep from the machines were heard.