as i finish cleaning my room i found my old LED lights and my old phone i charged it up and went too the basement looking for a step stool, my phone started too go off i heard from upstairs i look at it seening my Twitter notifications blowing up trying to comprehension where all these new followers coming from as i seen @ggyoungboy started following me i look and seen he dm me " is this janiyah?".
he ask always getting my name wrong as i texted him telling him yeah this her wassup it took him long too respond so i left it at that.
1 months pass _
June 2, Monday summer 2018
i open my Google classroom seening i have a summer package sometimes i be cautious about things but i really want too be a nurse or a entrepreneurial, i always thought I'll be an independent woman but i still act like a child. how i want a family can't even cook as i roll my eyes putting on some r&b music and setting up my LED lights.
my mom work really hard day and night i never really had a dad he left me and went too jail,i guess. but i did have my aunt dej and brook we really close but it still feels like I'm lonely soo my mom gave me a diary where I can write down my feelings
Or how things make me feel or what triggers me i never really had a therapist or never went thorough somethinglike that , but we did have a school counselor she was nice but that's where all the bad kids go too talk too her.
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*ding ding* as i heard my phone going off , some famous person fans started quarry me about talking too there favorite rapper. i was most definitely confused about who they was talking about, as i finish my room me and youngboy continue too talk i guess " your lil fans crazy " as he laughed it off my mom came in looking melancholy, sorrowful i was considered what's going on i said picking my head out my room door.
" how was your day " she ask trying to lighten up the conversation well i met this boy last month as i play with my fingers looking down at the floor " what's his name " she ask looking mad , well he haven't told me yet all i know is he have fans whatever that is " soo he a rapper or one of them lil sound cloud -" no mom i said cutting her off he's a real one he handsome too " how you don't know his name and he got you blushing" as i Chuckle he question off i showed her the FaceTime call. " he a lil handsome thang she yo lil girlfriend or some ?" she said looking at me smirking noo we just friends i said cutting him off making him looking at me with a stank face .
" well hang up the phone tell yo lil FRiEnD you'll talk too him later" as she pulled out some paperwork and rubbing her forehead as i walk back too my room . " so FRiEnD what you doing" he said mocking me smiling making me smile boyy stop i said dragging out blushing, well i was going too apply for Rice University college but i have too save up some money too become a nurse.
" oh you a smart one " he said complementing me, eh not really i had feel asleep in class yesterday felt disappoint in myself .
" at least you still in school, some girls drop out and become a hoe with a lose ass pussy with them dry ass lace fronts " he said so bluntly , i bet you drop out joking with him as he mug and hang up on him as i just sat there shocked mean ass . " neeee " my mom yelled from the living room she sat me down and said straightforward that my grandma pass away well damn you didn't even sugar coat it i said in my head then i laugh it off not really believing, what my mom told me as i tried too walk off she grabbed my hand showing me her death certificate as i felt my heart dropping, anger filling in my blood i really can't do nothing but blame everyone for my problems as i push her off of me.
and put on my jacket and walked out the house i got a call from youngboy " what's wrong ma " he ask eating a hot pocket " fuck you as i roll my eyes quivering in the cold air brushing against my warm face " what time ?" he ask with a smirk on his face i don't have no energy in my body too play with you YoUnGbOy " it's kentrell too you"
he said matching my energy my grandma died i said bluntly as i curled up on the swing at the park " i understand your pain "
he said trynna feel what I'm going through , you don't i bet you still have your grandma with a happy loving mom and dad i said kicking the rocks " first off i don't have none of above my grandma died 10 years ago, my momma don't even know what that is and my dad 55 years last time i seen him was when i was 9".
as we sat on the phone quietly only the wind made noise how she died i ask break the silence , i really don't tell people my business this fast but i feel connected too you " as i laugh how you feel connected too a person you've never met before i ask " you know we been flirting for some hours " nawll you probably got a girlfriend.
