The Kissing Booth: Unavoidable

Chapter 10 - We Meet Again

"Please, this is everything I wanted to tell you the night of the wedding. I thought we could take a break and then we would see each other for the holidays and work things out. I never imagined that we would go almost two years without even seeing each other. As soon as I heard your reaction when I suggested taking a break, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. I planned to tell you that the next time we talked, but I never got the chance, we never talked after that."

"I realize now that you were trying to figure out a way to fix things with us and not trying to break us during that phone call. I felt like I had the world on my shoulders at that point. I was trying to keep everything together for Brad and my Dad and trying to figure out how to deal with a new school without you and Lee. I couldn't handle it all and I think I started lashing out at you because it was easier than dealing with how much I missed you and how sad I was. I never should have stopped talking to you so quickly. I was an idiot for blocking you like I did."

"I didn't realize how much you were dealing with at the time. Your Dad has opened up to my parents about what was going on with him at that time and my Mom talked to me about it, with your Dad's permission, of course. I'm sorry for adding to your stress, Elle. I had no idea all the shit you were going through."

"Believe me, I wouldn't have left Boston unless I felt like I had to for my family. I was so happy the year we had together there. I was looking forward to the next few years to be the same." Finally, I thought of the biggest reason I didn't talk to Noah again after that phone call. "I did call you back after our call that night. I called that next weekend and a girl answered your phone. At the time, I thought you already moved on, but Lee and Lexi don't believe that."

"I never would have done anything like that to you, Shell. I would not have cheated on you and I didn't move on to someone new. I got wasted that night, I was so tired of trying to figure out how to make things work with us, I needed a break. I went to a party with my roommate and passed out when we got back to our dorm room. I saw that you had called the next day and found out that the girl my roommate had brought home with him answered my phone. I tried to explain that to you, I lost count of the number of messages I left for you and texts I sent." I watch Noah's eyes as he tells me this and I know he is telling me the truth. Shit, why didn't I listen to any of those voicemails or read any of his texts. Why didn't I try to talk to him about this for so long after it happened. We lost so much time.

"Noah, I'm sorry that I didn't trust you enough to get past that. I blamed a lot of our break-up on that, but I'm not even sure that's what the issue was. Everything was so messed up with my family, I think I wanted to control something and I thought by not talking to you, I was in control of our break-up. I messed it all up so badly. I'm sorry I didn't give you another chance to talk to me."

"I should have tried something else. Should have shown up in Chicago at your door to talk to you in person or something. I don't know why I let you go so easily. I'm sorry, Shelly."

"I think we're both to blame. This was something we both did. I'm sorry too, Noah."

We walked next to each other in silence for a few minutes. Noah and I had finally gotten through much of our miscommunication and misunderstandings from two years ago and we were both lost in our thoughts of all the ways we let our relationship fail. We finally stopped walking and took a seat together on the beach, watching the waves on the horizon. With the sun down, the warmth of the day had disappeared and I shivered next to Noah. He put an arm around me to warm me up and we sat like that without talking for a while before saying good night to each other with a hug.

There was a lot I needed to think about after Noah and I talked. I had a hard time falling asleep as I replayed our conversation in my head. Everything he told me made complete sense and I can't believe we both let things get so screwed up between us. I felt so much better to have these bad feelings between us lifted and I hope we'll finally be able to find a way to be in each other's lives again.

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As my dad and I were putting away the supper dishes the next evening, I brought up something to him that I had been thinking about since the night before. "Dad, I feel bad that Noah is all alone for Thanksgiving. Maybe we should invite him here."

"You want Noah to come here for Thanksgiving? The same Noah who we haven't been allowed to mention in the last two years?"

"I thought he was going on vacation with his family until Lee said something about him staying home." Dad didn't have to know that it was Noah himself who told me that he didn't go on vacation. "I hate to think of him by himself on a holiday."

"I had thought about inviting him when I heard he wasn't going to Seattle with everyone else, he is just like family, but I didn't think you would want to see him. You guys haven't been on the best of terms lately."

"Things went okay at the last family lunch."

"You seemed to be civil to each other, but I didn't even notice you talking."

I wanted to tell my Dad about meeting with Noah last night, but I knew we weren't ready to get our families involved. "I think we can make it through a few hours for the Thanksgiving meal. Brad will probably spend the whole time hounding him to play video games or catch with him anyway. Will you ask him?"

"Okay, Elle, if you're sure. I'll give him a call tomorrow."

The day before Thanksgiving went by much quicker than the rest of the week had gone. Dad and Brad were off work and school for the day and it was nice to be able to spend the day with my guys. I helped Dad buy groceries and start on the prep work for the next day and took Brad to the pier for some junk food and video games. Dad let me know that Noah had accepted his invitation for Thanksgiving and had sounded very appreciative to be asked. He told me he was proud of me for suggesting we invite Noah, since he knew how hard our break-up had been. I had a text from Noah after supper that night.

Noah - Did you have something to do with this invite?

Elle - I couldn't leave you alone to order take out and work all day on a holiday.

Noah – I'm looking forward to seeing you again.

Elle – Me too, Noah.

I realized that I really was looking forward to seeing Noah again. I was happy that we didn't have all the hurt feelings from our break-up hanging over us anymore, but I was still wondering where our relationship would go from here.