A Good Day

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CW: mention of suicide, numbness 


Today was a good day, 
I think. 
It's always hard to tell 
What is good 
When emotions feel
Like reflections at the bottom of a lake. 
They're there, 
I can tell,
But it's an imitation, 
A cheap copy 
Of what it used to be 

Today was a good day. 
Absolutes are supposed to be calming.
Stating things as fact, 
Rather than questioning is good, 
At least the doctor says so. 
Today was a good day. 
Tomorrow will be okay too. 

Today was a good day, 
But still no joy. 
A lack of any major breakdowns 
Is enough to say it went well
Though I wish the bar 
Was higher than that by now. 

A good day. 
If I had to classify all my days 
As good or bad 
I don't think it would lean a particular way
In quantity alone. 
But when the bad is so much worse 
Than the small good 
Bad would win by far 

A good day. 
I've trained myself 
To take the absence of bad as good 
To take the absence of sad as happy 
And to take the absence of emotion as peace. 
But that's really just a method of coping, 
Isn't it? 
Isn't there supposed to be more? 
A lack of suicidal action does not equal 
A will to live. 

A good day. 
Today was not a good day. 
Today was an okay day. 
Today was a baseline day. 
But tomorrow. 
Tomorrow I could make into a good day. 

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