rant book

issues we feel like we can't claim

soooo idk if this applies to anyone else, but for me, i never felt like i could actually "claim" (if that makes sense) having trauma and anxiety and depression.

I think I had always felt like my trauma wasn't bad enough in comparison to others' for it to be the same concept, so I wouldn't really claim to have it. But trauma is really just having an event that triggers something in you to behave or act a certain way. For me, I have always hate being alone during an argument with my parents, this being due to multiple of the same events that would happen when i argued with them. it's not as bad as it sounds and i really wouldn't consider it abuse, but how they handled my mental issues when i was younger was not how it should have been done, though i don't blame them at all because i likely would have done the same. my parents were confused as to why i reacted differently than other kids, finding out when i was 8 that i had SPD (which caused behavioral issues for me). How they handled my issues caused me trauma and i'm sure it'll effect my future relationships.

I hate saying that i'm traumatized, because it sounds so extreme to me. but it's not that extreme i guess, it's just something that'll cause me long-term mental harm. Trauma can be extreme and pretty basic.

This goes for panic attacks, too. I have a hard time understanding that I have them. I literally had one when my nose piercing fell out. it wasn't a big deal and idk why it caused it, but i just freaked out. I'm allowed to have panic attacks. it's not ideal, but i do have them. i can claim them. they're not belonging to everyone but me just because i feel like i don't have it as bad as others do.

I have trauma and anxiety issues and depression and many other issues lol. I don't have to have a terrible life to also have mental issues. i understand my privileges in many other areas, but i need to also recognize the mental issues that i have, and how bad they really are.

I'm allowed to have it bad sometimes. It's not ideal, of course, but i don't fit in a box, and nobody has to. Just because my issues are different than some other peoples doesn't mean I don't get to claim my issues.

So this is a little deep if you don't know me and are reading this lol but I hope everyone here can take something from this haha. You're allowed to have issues, no matter how different they compare. Your life isn't perfect either, recognize you're traumas and issues and learn about them. Understand them. It makes it much easier to grow :)