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a year ago, I cried.
It was eight o'clock at night, and a month since I'd been back at school. seen people after a month of being awol, mostly my best friends since I'd been away.
I was crying out my lungs, my heart was throbbing in my throat - choking all the sounds as the tears stained my pillowcase
I remember how it felt like it's engraved inside my veins, the feeling of hopelessness, the feeling of feeling blue.
feeling like heartbreak, forgetting that the brighter side exists. always constantly wondering what it would be like to be sent away on a bed of roses down a peaceful steam, having died young
fast forward a year, arguably shocked at how I'm still alive, but I'm glad I am. I'm glad I lived through it all.
today, I look at the sky, it's baby blue, and a chilly breeze hits my skin, yet the sun still shines for another day. the autumn colours are slowly setting in, people commuting to and from places, and I smile. I smile like the moon does the stars, like the sun does the flowers. I smile.
life feels good. living feels good. my sickness a year ago pales in comparison to how many emotions I feel now, like electric in my veins -
I promise it gets better, through patience and commitment. the hurting is worth it, everything is worth your happiness.
when they say you can't buy happiness, they were talking about the beauty that one finds being content, free, and as cringe as it may seem, happy. it's something so rare yet so overlooked.
