Both Dad and Clark disagree with Dr Shaheed. Clark is most vociferous, “Absolutely not! Kirk isn’t capable of making any kind of reasoned judgment,” he says with an insulting surety.
I raise my head: “Dad, Dr Shaheed, Clark – please leave my basement, I want to be alone with Jess". I also want my male friend with me, "Dad – can you ask Toby to come down?” I ask.
Clark answers instead of Dad, “Kirk, you’re having this procedure. I’ll allow Toby join you. But, he’ll be informed that the decision regarding this matter has been made – you do not have a choice!” Dr Shaheed shoots me a look I read as supportive – I like that.
Toby and Jess sit with me. I read Toby as angry and agitated, while Jess reflects sensibly.
“Dad’s reacting like a ravenous reanimate up there,” says Toby, with a look I read as pissed. “He just read me the riot act – I’m torn Kirk, don’t know what to say, what decision is best for you – for us all?” he says, looking at Jess for support, or an answer. “Your Dad’s a major control freak Tobes; try and think for yourself – think what’s best for Kirk – not what best serves The Association.” Jess’s words make him jump to an assertive decision – “Do it Kirk – and that is my belief, not influenced by my Dad!”
I turn to Jess, “You know, Dad used to be a real controller, but my soul return’s mellowed him," I say. Jess smiles, “Because he knows you have a chance. As much as I disagree with Clark’s insistence on him making the decision for you – I personally think you should go for it, for sure, I have the Responsive Feeling!”
I lay my head back – “I respect both of your decisions, but I want to hear what Casey thinks. I want her here.” I look at Jess, “Please can you arrange for her to be here for me?”
……
Jess re-enters the basement with Clark hot on her heals. “OK, Case says she’ll be here as soon as; has to wait for her folks to go to bed first.” Clark brings his angry arrogance with him, “Look, I’m funding this project. Dr Shaheed is payed by the hour. Time is MY money. If Casey isn’t here within the hour, I’m signing your consent form for you Kirk – no question!”
……
I ignore him, happy to see his big behind leave the basement.
……
I’m prepped and shackled for my op, so I ask Jess, “Do me a favour, can you cover me up and put a little bit of make up on my face?” She emits a loud, “Awwwwwwwww!” Then says, “You’ve gone all modest. You’re not modest with me and Tobes,” she says with a sound that suggests I like Casey – and I do. I’m as smitten with her as my limited soul return allows.
Jess makes an expression I read as a grimace, “To be honest Kirk, the only make up I can do is Zombie make up – and you don’t need that my friend,” she says, throwing Toby a questioning look, “Can you do it?” Toby shrugs, “I’ll give it a go,” he says, grabbing my make up bag (I mean humanization kit.)
……
Casey arrives just in time to keep Clark from creating more angry chaos.
She sits on my right side, Toby and Jess on my left. “Sneaking out a my house ain’t easy when Mom’s watching Dallas, I tell you – she’s hooked on that shit.” She takes my hand, not in a romantic or concerned way, more a Casey way, the way I like her for, “Kirk, I absolutely want you to have this procedure. It will help so much with your integration in school – and society in general. I understand the risks, but I have a good feeling.” She looks over at Jess, “You’re a Grade 1 Responsive Jess, what do you feel?” Jess’s answer is firm with knowing – “I feel good – go for it – a real strong positive vibe runs through me!” she says, thumping the air – like Jess does when she knows a positive outcome is in sight.
Casey smiles, “There – you have the decision Kirk – let’s go for it!”
“NO!” I say, with a decisive edge.
I turn to Casey, squeeze her hand as tight as I can without my hungry strength; I lock my eyes with hers,” No! I can’t do it Casey, I don’t want to.”
I avert my gaze from her, “I’m a dead guy. A carcass with a few feelings – feelings for you. The success of my op might hurt you – I’d rather ascend above than do that...”
