depression

MOTION

*how do you remember the time when you felt you weren't the same at all*

It's funny to recall how things used to be normal and you consider your self as the part of the crowd that's surrounded you but deeply there is this feeling you would always wanted to avoid, the feeling that you are lying to your self and every single person in your life. Not to mention the fact that you feel some thing is missing in a wrong way and like the rain you were in the moment and you are gone on the next like a shadow that disappears when the night falls, like the the clouds your emotion all over the place  dispersed when alight shudders in.

Through time you have lost a lot of friends over the year and you don't know why which makes it worse.all you think is it might be your fault that your not blending well that your friends chose abetter accompany over you when you know you have done nothing that pushes them away, that you were always supporting an compassionate to your friends.

Just when you think your life was finally settled than ever before, when you thought you got it all figured out just when start to plan something for your future life and got excited , just when you think everyone was handled and subdue....like a snap of your fingers, like the tsunami whirling  all over you when you swimming to the center, like the thunderstorm trembling the earth just like that you  became  lost , disappeared through your own thoughts and clinging to every negative possible ideas popping in your mind.

Phychology says that the brain remembers all the negative thoughts better than the good ones , it takes five good things to out weight one  negative thought in your mind like after you got a good grade and your happy about it but while your way home your friend complained how bad your  hairstyle was and you keep clicking on that.

Like every other person around you, you are as new as them about the changes in your self,just like a headech before the flu, a warning bell starts to form in yourself but you can't do anything about it, what can you do about the thing you barely understand? , How can you contemplate the fact that you were once self aware of yourself but now you think another person is possessing your own soul?

Well that's the start, the kindling ...

The motion.