Uncontrollable Obsession

Kapitulo 15

Eco Park

His lifeless eyes looked at me.

"I don't want to see you at the kitchen again."

Simple lang naman ang ginawa ko. Tumulong lang sa kasambahay dahil naiinip ako pero bakit naman niya ako pagbabawalan doon. Wala naman akong sinira o binasag. 

Kahit nasaktan ako sa aking narinig ay tumango parin ako sa kaniya. Ang babaw naman niya. Kung dahil lang sa apple na nakain ko, puwede ko namang bayaran iyon. Maliit lang naman ang halaga.

Walang buhay parin ang mga mata niyang tinitigan ako bago siya tumalikod sa akin. Nanatili akong malalim ang iniisip habang nakasunod parin sa kaniya ang paningin. Ang sakit. Iyon na nga lang ang nagpapaligaya sa akin maliban doon sa kuwadra, kukunin niya pa. Alam kong wala siyang pakialam sa nararamdaman ko.

I just silently stared at his back that was moving slowly away from my sight. After melting the soap in my hand, he took me here, to the garden. And told me like that. Hindi ko naintindihan ang nangyari. Napapatanong parin ako kung saan ako nagkamali. Mali bang tumulong ako. Mali bang gusto ko lang malibang. Kasalanan bang nakialam ako sa kusina. Maybe he didn't like what I did because he thought it wasn't cleaned properly. That's bad. He could have told me about it, not like this.

 
He looks like he's not stingy to others but when it comes to me, why did he deprive me? Did I do something wrong. Maybe about the kiss? It was just an accident. Pero hindi parin ba niya makalimutan. Kung ganoon, I will explain. I will clarify about that. Tatapusin ko ang pangyayaring iyon ngayon.

I sighed and left there. I want to talk to him if he is really mad at me because of what happened yesterday. I can apologize again. Even if I will repeat it hundreds times. If that's what he really wants, then I will.

I have no idea where he went but only one thing in my mind, I will go to his room. It's still early so I'm sure he hasn't left for work yet.

Pagdating ko sa pangalawang palapag ay tinungo ko agad ang kuwarto niya. Tatlong beses akong kumatok, at naisip ko pa ngang baka walang tao dahil parang walang ingay sa loob ngunit nang tumunog ang siradura at bumukas ang pinto. Napatuwid ako.

He got out and I stepped back so we could have some distance. He locked the door while looking at me. His brow furrowed. Perhaps he wondered why I was here again outside his room. Maingat ko namang pinakiramdaman ang paligid namin.

Somehow I was relieved because there was emotion in his eyes. I saw its coldness. I was no longer surprised or afraid cuz it's normal for him to look coldly at me, so I'm reassured. Unlike a while ago that his eyes were lifeless to stared at me.

Nanantya muna ako bago naglakas loob na nagsalita.

"Are you still mad at me Zekeil because of what happened yesterday? I'll pay for the damaged if that's what upset you."

It turns out that I can't bring up the kiss that happened because even when I just spoke, my knees trembled and I felt like I was going to fall at any moment. Pinipilit ko nalang na pinalakas ang loob. I wasn't nervous, my body just felt weak all of a sudden.

The furrows on his forehead disappeared, then, he shook his head at me. He didn't say anything.

"But why are you like that to me? I didn't do anything wrong. Zekeil, if you want... let's terminate the contract."

He looked stunned. He frowned again. And I saw irritation in his face. Did I make him even more angry? May masama ba sa sinabi ko? Parang wala naman.

"What did you say... terminate the contract?"