HOS #2: Holding Onto Something

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"What are you doing?!"

"Burning your things." baliwala niyang sabi.

"You do realize those are my things, right?"

"Oh perfect! The more reason why I want to burn it..."

Tumakbo ako palapit kay Euphrasia at sinubukang agawin ang sunod niyang susunogin na isang malaking teddy bear.

"Euphrasia, stop!" pilit kong agaw sakanya.

"No, you stop." inagaw niyang muli. "You're...... urgh! pathetic!" kasabay ng pagtaas ng boses niya ay ang pagtapon niya ng teddy bear sa malaking apoy na unting unting inaangkin ang mga gamit na mahahalaga saakin.

I neared the fire hoping I could just grab those things out of it.

"What? Susunogin mo sarili mo para makuha mo lang yang mga gamit na yan?" that made me stop. She shooked her head in disbelief, "Wake up, Daniesha!"

"Those are precious to me, Euphrasia!" I panicked, "Sinunog mo!"

"Those were once precious to you. Once and will never be again. Let the fire eat it."

Umiling ako. I can't give it up. I will keep that. Ibinigay niya sa'kin iyon during our sixth monthsary. I can't lose that when there's still a lot to hold on.

Nang makita ko ang pinakamalapit na hose ay pinaandar ko ito. Unfortunately, the water is pouring slow. Hinubad ko ang jacket na suot ko at binasa ito.

I am going to stop that fire.

As I got near the fire, I smacked it using my jacket. I thought the fire would cease but it didn't. The fire grew more and I watch my jacket burn to the ground. Come on, Daniesha... You need to think of something..

I continued walking back and forth thinking what I can do to stop the fire. I need to stop the fire. I need to get those.

"Daniesha!" she shouted again.

Agad akong pumasok sa loob ng bahay at naghanap ng tubig. The flower jar was the first thing that I saw. I immediately grabbed it and head back to the backyard where Euphrasia burnt my things.

Tataponan ko na sana ng tubig ang apoy nang pigilan ako ni Euphrasia.

"Stop it!" pity is evident in her voice, na para bang siya na ang nahihirapan sa mga pinag gagawa ko. "That won't stop the fire!"

Pumiglas ako sa hawak niya.

"Those are my things, Euphrasia!" sinusubukan ko pa din pumiglas ngunit napatigil ako sa pag galaw nang bigla niya akong sampalin.

"My God, Daniesha! Stop, please stop!!"

My things can barely be seen now...There's no point in saving it.

I stopped getting away from Euphrasia and watch my things being completely eaten by the fire...

It's gone... it's all gone... there's nothing left...

Letting my knees fall on the ground, I laughed out loud upon realizing that his gifts were gone... Euphrasia burnt it. She wanted to burn it, but I don't want to. Bigay niya 'yon. Mahalaga saakin 'yon. Iyon nga lang ang natitira saakin maliban sa mga salita at ala-alang iniwan niya, tapos nawala pa.

"It's all gone."

Hindi ko mapigilan ang pag-agos ng mga luha ko. Those things have sentimental values to me. Bawat isa doon, may ala-alang hinahawakan saamin ni Ayden. Natatakot ako na baka ngayon na wala na iyon ay makalimutan ko ang mga ala-alang naiwan niya. Yun nga lang ang natitira sa akin eh.

"It's not all gone, Yesha. Nandyan pa din yung nararamdaman mo! Mahal mo pa din yung tao, at hinding hindi ka magiging okay hangga't nandyan pa yan!"

"It's not easy to unlove someone!"

How easy it is to tell someone to unlove. Sana ganon lang din kadali, na kapag naisipan mong itigil mahalin ang isang tao ay mawawala na agad lahat ng nararamdaman mo.

"You're not even trying!"

"Hindi mo naiintindihan, Euphrasia. Mahal ko pa din siya. He said... he'll wait for me. Ako ang papakasalan niya. I can't imagine not ending up with him, Euphrasia. I-I can't. Hindi ko kakayanin..."

"No, Yesha. Kill that part of you that still hopes for him, that part of you that's still holding onto him. Kill that part of you that still thinks you cannot live without him! He cheated... hindi pa ba sapat iyon para sabihin na hindi siya yung para sa'yo?"

11/01/21 21:00