the feelings that we hide | SPENCER REID

16. just wanna be loved

"Okay." A smirk grew on his face, getting off the stool and helping her up. "Where?"

"The bedroom."

Without hesitation, he engulfed her face with a rough kiss. His hands moved to cup her jaw, she almost broke the kiss away when he did that—it reminding her of the way Spencer had kissed her.

Nathan moved his hands to the end of her top, pulling it over her head—breaking the kiss for a second. Bringing her legs up, they wrapped around his waist as he brought her over to the room and onto the bed. Her pants came off by his hands, him taking his clothes off too and getting under the covers with her.

Her back laid against the bed, waiting for him. She started to feel it enter her, a quiet moan escaping before it was fully in. Vanessa tried to close her eyes, but the minute she did, Spencer was popping up. Her eyes shot open immediately, she wanted all of it to stop. She thought she wanted this, but she didn't anymore.

"Stop—" she breathed out while tapping onto his shoulders. "Nate, stop—" He wouldn't pull off of her. "Nathan!"

He stopped. It was still inside, but he stopped thrusting.

"What is it?" He asked, irritated that she had him stop. "Backing out? I thought you were whore? Didn't you like this stuff when we were dating?"

"Stop calling me that..."

"Talking back now?"

"No—I'm sorry—just..."

"I'm continuing whether you like it or not," Nathan said with a furious tone.

The whole thing was not enjoyable. She wasn't in the mood anymore and it all felt wrong. She didn't want this—she didn't want any part of this. Yet he was still going. Why? Because this would be better than him getting angry and hitting her. Small tears started to form at the corners of her eyes, but there weren't any sniffling—she really didn't want to upset him more.

His hands dug into hers and he went in and out of her. It was hurting her because he was being rough, but she didn't want to say anything and ruin his mood.

Not to long afterwards, Nathan came. They were using a condom, so no mess was made.

"Did you come?" He asked her with a breathy voice as he tied up the rubber.

Vanessa nodded, lying to him, and then getting up to use the restroom.

While she was in there, she looked into the mirror, contemplating everything.

What is wrong with me? I shouldn't be here...But I don't want to be alone.

She come out after peeing, laying down in bed next to Nathan. He was already asleep, so she cuddled up next to him and shut her eyes. Although the feeling of comfort wasn't there, she was glad to know someone still wanted her—even if they were hurting her the most.

...

During the middle of the night, Vanessa woke up to sound of her boyfriend screaming and shouting. She jumped up out of bed once he burst through the door. Fear arose in her as he start marching over to her, slamming her against the wall.