Every Line Crossed

ELC23

Madami na din naman akong natutunan simula noong dumating ako dito. I am not the same ignorant girl who knows nothing. I can do this... I cannot let myself down again.

Is there something more that can make this day worse?

My breaths are heavy and my legs feel weak because of tiredness but I still felt a small satisfaction when I reached the town proper. Nanghihina na ako at pagod na pagod dahil halos buong araw kong paglalakad. Gabi na.

The first thing I need to do is to find an opened pawnshop, find food and shelter for a night then tomorrow morning, I'll try my best to ask people how can I commute from here to Manila. I'm still nervous about that plan but I hope I can make it work.

"Damn it." I cursed when I stopped on the third pawnshop that is closed. Most of the pawnshops I've been are only opened until 5 in the afternoon. But it's freaking night and God knows what time is it already! I don't have anything to track time than the natural indication of the sky!

Fuck it! Fuck this life!

Fuck your decisions, Kill Legrand!

Fuck everyone who placed me in this position! Fuck those who didn't believe in me! Fuck you, Six Andrada! I hate you! I hate you so much!

"I'm so tired..." I sobbed, wiping the sweat on the side of my face as well as the tears falling from my eyes.

I sat hugging my knees while crying.

"Ayoko na. Mama... Papa, take me back... Kuya..." I sobbed harder.

Let's do this, Kill... get up now... please. You can do it! No one will be here for you... no one will save you if you won't.

Matagal din bago ko napakalma ang sarili ko. I fought my tears, my fears, my tiredness, my failing senses, and body. Sa sobrang dami ko na atang nalagpasan... ang hirap nang bumalik.

I thought I have to stop trying today because it's hopeless. Imagine my happiness when I saw a 24/7 opened pawnshop right in front of my eyes! I just wanna cry in so much tears! Finally!

Even with little to none strength, I managed to run so I could reach the pawnshop immediately. I stopped in front of it with a smile on my face. Agad kong inalis mula sa aking leeg ang aking kwintas at hinarap iyon sa aking unahan.

"Sorry, Papa... I have to do this..." I said while staring at the lovely necklace that even with its sleek design has a great value.

I palmed the necklace and I stared long at the pawnshop before I breathe deeply. Let's go, Kill!

"Miss, ganda nyang kwintas mo..."

Chills and goosebumps surrounded my whole body because of that creepy whisper right on my ear. My smile faded and I froze. The only thing that remained working for me is my heart who's beating loudly because of fear and nervousness.

"Pati ikaw ang ganda mo..."

Fear engulfed my system especially when I felt something that's poking my waist. I saw a swiss knife pointed in it. I closed my eyes tightly as tears started to form in my eyes.

God... why? Why are You letting this happen to me at all once? Did I do something wrong? Did I sin too many? Why?

Noong binuksan ko muli ang mata ko ay nakita ko ang dalawa pang lalaking papalapit. Dalawa iyong payat at halos buto-buto ngunit itong nasa likod ko ay mas malaki pa sa pinagsamang laman ng dalawang bagong dating.

"Sama ka muna saamin, Miss. Maglalaro tayo."

"A-ayoko..."

I roamed my eyes around to look for a CCTV camera, or a stranger who passes by but I failed. Lord... please, please... I don't want any of these anymore.