Do you hear that? The birds are chirping... they are singing a lovesong for us.
🌪🌪🌪
Sometimes the heavy rains of New Jersey seem to represent the dull feeling in His heart. Sometimes He can't seem to reach for the sun and even though clouds are just water, they sure look like a solid wall that blocks all the happiness and gleefulness from His view. It is a sudden wave of sadness that will always get Him down and that never seems to end.
Even now, in His mid-thirties and happily married to His husband, He can't seem to understand how His head works. And so it can occur that He will lie in bed all day and think about the clouds in His head. But nowadays He gave up on trying to get through them but more often trying to see something in them.
Like a little kid He tries to see animals, or ducks with a baseball bat in the thick gray sky but He didn't see any to this day. He didn't see a solution.
So why even try?
He had to call in sick for work again. Again. He has always hated that word. It seems to mock Him, to tell Him that there is no pattern in His behavior and everything seems so sudden with His. That He is just too blind to acknowledge His problems. Again. He did it again, the little boy broke the window from auntie Sandy. What's wrong with this boy?
But today He decided that He won't do anything. He won't go out, He won't get up to eat. Maybe He will be drowned by His clouds or maybe the rain will open the sky.
Again.
