Dear Diggory

chapter 5

Lupin nodded at me in encouragement and I scooted forward slightly. I grit my teeth as the Boggart shape-shifted. It seemed to take forever, swirling before me like a dark cloud, but finally it revealed the vision of me standing in an empty barren field. The scene expanded and expanded, revealing no one and nothing as I got smaller within the frame. It went on forever, making my appearance a dot amongst long blades of water-deprived grass.

I felt the fear clutch my chest and inhaled sharply. I could hear faint whispering around me as my peers consulted with one another, attempting to understand the meaning. But no one did, not even Carlisle. I had always kept this phobia to myself, feeling safer if it remained that way.

Finally, I pulled myself together and raised my wand, chanting riddikulus. The Boggart shifted and suddenly there were thousands of people and animals in the field as music and chatter blasted throughout the room, seeming to fill the space.

Lupin raised his wand and forced the Boggart back into the cabinet before turning to face me.

I was still frozen in fear as I stood in the middle of the room. The feeling of nausea overtook me all too quickly and I swayed slightly on the spot.

Without a word, Lupin seemed to understand my internal struggle. He quickly guided me by my arm up to his office and flourished his wand, causing the desks to float down to the floor.

Just as we reached the doorway Lupin spoke to my peers, "everyone sit down and turn to page 48 of Magical Creatures and Where to Find Them. Copy the notes into your books until I return."

I sat in the seat in front of the desk and just before Lupin closed the door I looked over my shoulder to find Cedric staring at me. He was frowning slightly as his eyes bore into mine, holding a hundred questions.

The door swung shut.

I turned to face Lupin and he handed me a piece of chocolate, "here eat this, it'll help with the dizziness."

I smiled at him weakly and began nibbling. The rich cocoa smell flooded into my nostrils and with each bite my anxiety numbed. Gradually, it helped the faintness to calm down, easing the tormented sea in my stomach.

My professor sat in the seat behind the desk as I recovered, making sure not to stare at me too much.

"Don't worry I'm not going to ask what it meant. You know I'm not in the habit of prying."

I nodded at his words, relieved that he was decent enough to not push upon the sensitive topic.

We sat in amiable silence for a while whilst I finished the chocolate and I took advantage of the moment to glance around the room.

It was the same as it had been for the last 5 years and it still held the comforting aura that Lupin himself possessed. The walls were filled with memorabilia from his travels, I recognised some muggle items too.

My eyes flickered to his desk where I could see a photo frame. It showed a young woman, she had a slender face with a curved nose and fantastical purple hair. Holding onto her hand was a little boy and I smiled as I recognised Lupin's facial traits in him.

I looked up to see Lupin staring at me and his eyes seemed to twinkle with humour.

"Is she your wife Sir?" I asked quietly.

"Yes she is, and that there is my son Teddy." He smiled as he spoke of them, the affection was clear.

I paused, "do you miss them very much when you're here Sir?"

"Every single second." He didn't miss a beat as he spoke, as if the reaction had been automatic to him.

He stood up slowly and poured himself a coffee from the pot in the corner. He offered one to me too, but I declined and so he walked towards the door before speaking, "you are welcome to stay in here for as long as you'd like, don't worry about the lesson I know you're quite capable of catching up."

I was relieved at his words. I hadn't been looking forward to returning to everyone's quizzical stares, particularly those belonging to a certain Hufflepuff.

Just as he was about to turn the doorknob I spoke again, my inner turmoil forcing me to spit it out, "Sir... can I ask you something?"

He nodded at me, as if he'd been expecting the question all along. I hesitated, tracing the ribbon on my wrist for comfort.

"Do you think it's ever possible to escape your nightmares Sir?" I whispered, looking up at him.

He pondered this for a long moment and his face frowned in thought.

Finally he spoke, "I don't think you ever escape them as such, but rather, we learn to live with them and make our peace."

I absorbed his words, letting them sink into my brain as I nodded. He seemed satisfied with this and gave me a small smile before leaving the room, returning to the others.