Faking It

Four

"You have got to be shitting me."

Alex put her head in her hands. Fuck her life. Fuck it all to hell. They were approaching the end of this charade. The public had eaten it up. People loved seeing the two of them together, little glimpses of their 'lives together.'

And now this, this absolute shit.

"It's just two weeks," Jane sighed. She really needed a raise after the last six months. Badly. "Just two weeks. On a beach. In the Caribbean. It's god damned paradise, Lex."

"Filled with scheming paparazzi. Cameras every fucking where. With James Fucking Barnes. Yeah, that sounds like absolute paradise," she retorted sarcastically. God, was this over yet? Could she just end this bullshit and get on with her life already?

"After this, we'll stage the breakup. Barnes's camp is fine with you being the one to initiate it. Some bullshit about needing time to figure things out. But we love and respect each other, blah, blah, blah. Just two weeks, Alex. Two. That's it."

****

That night. God damn, he couldn't get it out of his head. It had been a few months, but it played over and over in his mind. Practically running out the theater back door. Making their way down Broadway. Ducking into the cafe. Alex was so beautiful to him. Everything about her. And Bucky fucked it up, because that's what Bucky did.

He hadn't meant for it to happen. He really thought things might change after that night. That perfect night. Jesus, how could this have gone south so quickly? How could he be so careless? He'd ruined any chance he might have had with her. Just to get fucking laid.

He couldn't even look at himself after that.

He was such an asshole.

****

"Just so you know, I'm not okay with this. Not remotely fucking okay with it."

They boarded the private jet, her jaw was clenched when he tried to help her with her bags. "I'm not some damsel in distress, Barnes," she huffed. She did nothing to hide her utter disdain for him. And it broke his heart.

Stupid dumbass. Falling for the girl he had no business falling for. James Buchanan Barnes didn't fall in love. Period. He kept trying to convince himself. Maybe if he said it enough times, it would be true. But it wasn't. God damn. He really fucked this up.

****

The pictures graced the gossip blogs by the next afternoon. The two of them. Lounging on the beach. Her head in his lap. Laughing at something he said. If they only knew the truth. They'd see what a sham it really was.

James Barnes and Alex Pierce enjoying a tropical paradise on a private beach.

The lovebirds looked especially happy, frolicking in the white sand. Playing in the ocean. Rumors are swirling that the two are planning on cohabitating on their return to New York in a few weeks. A source close to the couple say that James has had his eye on a few rings as well. Could an engagement be in the near future?

Alex wanted to throw up. Cohabitating. Engaged. Total trash. Their PR was doubling down. Preparing for the inevitable. The final fucking end of this utter bullshit. She was so tired of faking it. So tired of living an absolute lie. Seven months of whatever the hell this was. She was done with it.

****

Two miserable weeks. Bucky slept through most of it. Drank. Whatever he needed to do to survive it. She didn't even look in his direction when they were inside the beach house. Separate rooms. No words, just silence. He was secretly glad their time was up. He needed to recalibrate.

He couldn't wait to get home. Get back to work. Get back to normal. Get back to fucking whatever he could get his hands on. He was determined to drown in as much pussy as possible. Maybe that would take away the sting. That nagging ache in his chest. The one he'd put there himself.

****

Reps confirm the end of the relationship. It's splitsville for James and Alex.

It's the end, folks. James Barnes and Alex Pierce have confirmed that they've split. No reason was given, but sources say that Pierce wanted to focus on work, and needed some time to figure things out. "She felt that they were maybe moving a little too fast. She absolutely loves James and has nothing but respect for him. She thinks she just needs some time alone," one source told us.

Another source close to Barnes says he's taking it as well as to be suspected. "He's surrounded himself with friends and family, all determined to support him at this time," the source told us. "He really believed Alex was the one for him. She definitely made him a changed man. He was ready to settle down with her," a second source confirms.

****

Alex took a shaky breath. God, she'd never been this nervous in her entire life.

"You gonna breathe or what, Lexie?"

She opened her eyes and rolled them at her brother's question. "Why do you always have to be such an ass, Joey? I'm fuckin' terrified right now. Give me a break. I've literally never done anything this big in my career. This is massive."

"It's not the end of the world."

Fucking Joey. Still a pain in her ass twenty eight years later.

"Come on, Alexandra. Game face."

She was blinded as soon as they stepped out of the car. He took her hand, letting her brace herself against him. He was her rock, he always was. Pain in the ass, but still her best friend. No one got her quite like Joey. No one ever would.

"Maybe you won't see him," he whispered in her ear, leading her down the red carpet. Bulbs flashed, paps screamed. She'd stop, smile. Stop, smile again. Over and over until they reached the end, swarming with reporters. Every news outlet. Gossip bloggers. All wanted a piece. She hated this part.

"Yeah right," she muttered. Bucky was nominated. She'd see him. She was presenting the fucking award he was nominated for. Sweet, sweet irony. The cruelest kind there was. Two damn years. God, she shouldn't be so scared. They'd both moved on. She met someone, dated for nearly a year. Bucky hopped from girl to girl. Seemingly a new one every few months.

Always papped with them. Because why not? Maybe Bucky lived for the attention. Who knew? And why did it matter? She doubted he even gave a damn for her. Especially after all this time. They'd both risen in the ranks. Alex had scored quite a few starring roles. She was what they considered A-list these days.

Bucky had become one of the biggest movie stars in the world. Leading a superhero franchise. Nominated for an Oscar for the war drama he'd starred in. Everyone wanted a piece of him. He had it all. Everything he could have dreamt of.

****

Alex's hands shook. He watched carefully as she stood off to the side of the stage. The golden gown she was draped in was stunning. Fit her absolutely perfectly. She still blew his mind two years later. He'd watched her as her career took off, becoming a sought after star. He couldn't help but feel proud.

His hands were sweaty from carrying the golden trophy, everyone stopping to congratulate him.

He wanted to talk to her. Soothe the nerves that were still wracking through her. He wanted to hold her. But he had forfeited that right a long time ago. She wasn't his to hold. She was never really his, was she? He'd blown that chance out of the water.

She finally pulled herself together and made her way out of backstage, presumably back to her seat. He briefly wondered who she'd come with. A date maybe? Someone lucky enough to have landed such a beautiful woman. Jealousy didn't suit him, so he'd push it down.

Maybe, just maybe, if he was lucky, he'd get a second chance.