GOSSIP GIRL. ( remus lupin )

ᴄʜᴀᴘɪᴛʀᴇ ᴏɴᴢᴇ

Remus, scowling, grabbed his wand from his bedside table and waved it at his uniform, the thin wooden stick siphoning the glitter and green substance off his previously crisp white shirt and pants. He glanced at his ruined sheets and pillows, deciding to disregard it for the moment; before turning back to the noises that were nearly as unpleasant to his ears as the time as James and Sirius decided to sing into hairbrushes along to the Ramones.

"Y-your reaction!" Sirius howled before collapsing into a heap of shaking laughter once more. Still scowling, Remus waved his wand at the dark-haired boy.

"Silencio." the boy's wheezes were silenced and the angered werewolf turned to the other two, who were both trying to stifle their laughter. Upon realizing the werewolf of staring at him and his companion, James turned up his palms and back up to the wall.

"Come on, mate," he protested, trying to ignore the sounds of Sirius rolling along the carpeted floor. "We thought you needed some cheering up, you've been downcast a lot lately ━"

"But this was not the way to do it," Remus answered through his clenched jaw, now trying to ignore the noises of Peter's increasingly louder muffled laughter. "Or are you idiots too thick-headed to comprehend that?"

James flashed his palms at him again just as Sirius finally decided to stop his hysterical laughter and sit up. "It was Sirius's idea."

Sirius opened his mouth furiously to interject, only for his attempt to be fruitless ━ he was still under the effects of Remus's silencing charm. Sighing, Remus muttered the counter-curse under his breath and instantly Sirius launched into a one-breath shouting session at James.

"━ it was NOT my idea you two-faced son of a motherless goat!"

"HEY!"

James and Remus shouted out the same word for opposite reasons, and Remus had to use Levicorpus to hoist James up by the ankle and levitate him over to his four-poster to prevent him from leaping onto Sirius. All the while, Peter was rolling around on the floor, shrieking with hysterical laughter, which fell on deaf ears. James landed on his bed with a loud grunt, and now Sirius was sniggering at his best mate.

And so Remus was the only one left standing, scowling at his companions. Finally he sighed and wandered back to his four-poster, so used to these outcomes that he knew it was probably best to leave them alone until they had calmed themselves down enough to speak like normal humans. But even that didn't stop him from saying something before cleaning up the leftover slime on his pillows and sheets.

"Will you please act like civilized animals sometimes?" he sighed, siphoning the sticky glitter from his pillows first, hardly noticing when the three of them actually fell silent. "I swear to Merlin, one second you're guffawing over something like parrots and then you're screaming at each other like monkeys for another."

James, Sirius, and Peter glanced at each other simultaneously and then back at the werewolf. Peter once more stuffed his fist into his mouth and fell into hysterical laughter, apparently unable to contain any noise in his mouth.

Sirius let out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Moony, Moony, Moony. It's regretful to say that I think Miss Devereaux is rubbing off of you."

Remus froze, his wand hovering mid-spell. "What?"

James let out a slightly scornful cough before shaking his head and playing along with Sirius.

"You know what, Pads? You're completely right! Our dear and beloved Moony is spending too much time with broody Devereaux." Sirius and James wore identical smirks, somewhat teasing their friend.