Scandal | H.S.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟐

    Grabbing my phone, I head out of the studio only to notice that the lights in my house were shut off. I checked my phone for the time to notice it was already 1 in the morning. Had time flied that quickly? Was I secluded in the studio for more than 3 hours then?

    I made my way to the kitchen, and opened the fridge to see what I could possibly eat for dinner. Well, late dinner.

    I saw some Chinese take out boxes, with a note that my mom had stuck on it.

Figured you would hole yourself up in
that studio of yours.
Talk in the morning
I love you Mack.
Mom

    My parents know that whenever I holed myself up in the studio, it was either because I was extremely sad over something, or because I wanted to get away from the world, and not socialize with anyone.

    For my mom to want to talk about it in the morning, it usually never phased me, but I was dreading it because I knew I would have to explain why I stopped seeing Niall.

    I don't think they would be thrilled enough to hear that I possibly love Harry. But it was the truth, what was I to tell them? I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to tell the truth either. Who knows what they would say. Plus, it wasn't as if I had a chance with Harry. He was happy with Camille, I see that.

    The last time he was here, I had finally figured out that I was falling in love with him. Heck, even over the course of Christmas I wrote another song about him. This song was even more apparent that it was him, compared to the others.

    Why do I do this to myself? I invest so much feelings in one person, who I know I have no possible chance with, just to get hurt in the end? Do I enjoy being a masochist?

    After cleaning up the dishes, I make my way back into my studio to retrieve my journal, and retreat back into my room.

    I open up my journal to the last song I was working on. This song expressed more vulnerability than I had ever wished. I was actually extremely proud of this song, but I'm unsure if I actually want to release this song.

    I was reading the lyrics in my head, trying to figure out how to go about this song. I grab my guitar and start playing some chords while softly singing to myself.

Get you under pink skies, I know exactly where we should go
Babe, I love the way your green eyes mix with that Malibu Indigo
Talking under pink skies, I think our hearts are starting to show
Yeah, It's better you & I, under pink skies

Underwear, I kinda care
I wanna look good for you
British bum, you turn me on
No matter what you do.

You are my favorite, everything.
I've been telling you that since I was 19
Shut up, I love you
You're my best friend

Can we work it out?
You and me, we're meant to be together
Is this how it's supposed to feel?
I'm in love with how this feels.

    Once I had finally figured out how I want the song to sound, I rush to the studio, and record Pink Skies.

    The first time Harry and I connected was during our first public date. We were at the beach, and it was under pink skies, as the sun was about to set.

    No matter how much you change this song, it's so obvious that I'm talking about Harry. How am I meant to lie about this song and say it wasn't about Harry?

    Harry and I are going to "break up" soon, and news about him and Camille are going to surface, and that's if he's still with her at that time. I want to hold on to Harry as much as I could, because months from now, I don't even know if we'll still stand as friends.

    I honestly didn't mean to intentionally hurt Niall. My feelings just got the best of me, and I'm too fucking kind to continue lying to his face. This album is going to come out, and he's sure as hell going to figure out that I wasn't as invested in our relationship as he was. Fuck my life.

    Is it possible for me to just disappear? For me to suddenly drop out of this celebrity status and go back to South Carolina, where it's always been peaceful?

    I never intended for my life to turn out like the shit storm that it is. Granted, it was my stupid feelings that led me to fall in love with Harry in the first place. This is all so frustrating.

    I sat on the couch, my head in my hands as my mind started swirling with endless thoughts and possibilities of what will happen over the next few months. Surely I can't keep dating Harry, right? Something's bound to happen, and I can already feel it in my gut.

    I don't know how long I sat on the couch for, but my head finally found the throw pillow of the couch, and soon, sleep started to creep through.

    It was that night that I dreamed Harry and I weren't in a publicity stunt, but we were real. But it was all just a dream, and I'm really not fine at all.

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hey angels! sorry i haven't updated in a while, and sorry if this chapter is short 🥺 i've been really busy with school and my internet decided to give up on me yesterday which is why i haven't updated :(

anyway, i hope you like this chapter, and maybe, juuuuuust maybe, Niall & Kenna will meet again soon, who knows? 🤷🏻‍♀️

all my love,
savannah c