Parallel Universe

Something's missing

May 2000

She had done what she had always done when not wanting to face whatever it was that was going on in her personal life, throwing herself into work. Stevie had been beginning to go back to some old demos, and poems she had written since the mid nineties, trying to get as much work done as she could. And she had only stopped from February until a few days ago because she had been having the baby.

Greta was little over three months old, keeping her thoughts occupied while she wasn't trying to push everything aside while working. What she was never going to admit was that she was exhausted. She had moved into her new house in January, already been working on her new record as well, had the baby in February, and began to work again - not that she had really stopped writing and recording demos - a few days before her birthday.

Thinking about her birthday seemed weird, especially when she reminded herself about the fact that she just had a baby, at her age. But looking down to where her little girl was sleeping soundly during yet another tracking session, Stevie knew this wasn't a dream. She was 52, soon to be divorced, and with Rhiannon barely leaving her side ever since being told about that and a newborn that demanded her attention she felt as if she was a single mother without the kids father anywhere nearby.

"Mommy?"

Stevie turned around, seeing Rhiannon standing right next to where she sat on the couch, trying to concentrate.

"What?"

She whispered, signaling her daughter that she needed to be quiet.

"Can I stay with you?"

Hardly ever able to tell Rhiannon no, she nodded. Saying no was impossible for Stevie now. Her daughter had still a hard time adjusting, unlike her brother. It seemed as if nothing had really changed for Allan. He went in and out of her house a few times a day just as if he was vanishing into his room again, but he was mainly living with Tom.

"Come here, baby girl."

Giggling Rhiannon joined her mother on the couch, she waited until Stevie had shifted her baby sister and then cuddled close. Inwardly Stevie shook her head. Her so called baby girl wasn't one anymore since a long time ago. And now, having a three months old again, she first realized how much she had really missed having a baby around.

But what she already missed was having someone at her side. She had loved to have a partner at her side, someone to love, and laugh with, to lean on and complain to when things in the studio didn't go as she wanted them to be.

Just as now. Though Stevie knew that this wasn't really anyone's fault. She couldn't concentrate and focus on things as much as she needed to, she knew it. And the reason for it wasn't her baby, but more the baby's father. Right now Stevie had no idea if she would ever be able to get over the heartbroken feeling. 

She should be happy now, enjoying this blissful surprise with Tom, but she wasn't. He was there when she needed him, taking care of their kids still, but nothing more. She shouldn't be working, trying to distract herself from the upcoming divorce. And most of all, he shouldn't flaunt how perfectly happy he was in his new relationship.

"Mom!"

"I'm sorry, Honey."

She had finally snapped out of her thoughts, after what seemed like everyone in the room had tried to get her attention. They all knew that she wasn't really at it. They all had tried to talk to her, trying to make her see that she wasn't in any position to record an album at this time. But stubborn as she was, Stevie hadn't listened to anyone.

"How do you like it?" Sheryl asked.

"I haven't been listening. Sorry."

Stevie apologized. When they played the song again, she did. But something wasn't right.

"Something's missing. I don't know what, but there is. And honestly I need a break."

Without further explanations she nudged Rhiannon to get up. Her daughter in tow she made her way upstairs, walking right out of the session. What she didn't get were the worried glances of her friends and colleagues that followed her. They all thought the same, that Stevie wasn't herself anymore.

To make itup for not updating yesterday, here is another one. And now that we cleared the way, I think it's time to bring Lindsey back, don't you think? ;) Xoxo Dani