I just don't love you the same...

page 4: taking my boyfriend's responsibility

A/n: dedicated to jaja for taking time na iedit ang gawa ko.... Labyu sis!

Van and I rarely texted each other. I'm ok with that kasi I don't have to ask permission in everything I do. Or maybe hindi lang tlga kami seryoso sa isa't isa.

Instead of Van, ikaw ang lagi kong katext. Ikaw yung laging tumatawag. Ikaw yung palagi nagpapaalala sa akin na kumain.

You're actually taking Van's responsibilities.

From: Fran

Bhe,  kumain ka na po...

Ps: wag mong isusuka yang kakainin mo ha

Hahaha

-F

I smiled as i read your message. It's always been like this. You'll remind me to eat and not puke, it was as if you made it your mission to cure me from my disorder.

You really know me so well already.

and yes folks, I, my dearest, am an anorexic.

I went home one friday night, just before the debut proper of my highschool friend. Gabi na ako nakarating and surely mahihirapan na naman akong humanap ng masasakyan papasok ng subdivision. So I texted Van, in the hope na maybe he will pick me up.

To: Ui

Ui, malapit na ako. Walang mautusan si nanay sumundo sa akin.

-J

Re:

Ui, wala akong motor ngayon eh. Na kila kuya Mike. Itetext ko na lang si Fran na pahiramin ako ng motor niya.

-V

I was actually hoping na for once umakto uli siyang boyfriend ko.

Pagka baba ko ng bus, I saw you leaning on your motorcycle in just your basketball shorts, white sando, sporting your silver dog tag.

I smiled shyly, this is the first time na magkakaharap tayo without Van or anyone sa barkada natin.

"pasensya ka na. Hindi ka masusundo ni Van. Kaya ako nalang ang maghahatid sa'yo. Masyadong delikado dito sa bababaan mo eh" those were the words you said.

"let me guess, umuwi din si Mitch?" you just refused to meet my eyes, so I concluded that I am right.

I smiled bitterly and said,

"just what I've thought" kahit naman lokohan nasasaktan pa din ako.

"tara na" you said as you looked away.

Only if I had take a closer look. I should have noticed the sorrow in your eyes. I should have seen that you're hurting too. But I'm too blind to see. I'm too blind to notice.

After the debut nag away kami ni Van. He's furious that I slept at the debutante's house along with our batchmates. Paano daw kung nalasing ako. Paano daw kung mapaano ako. He even said paano daw kung na-rape ako. Like what the heck? Kilala ko naman ang mga kasama ko and I know kung hanggang saan lang ang alcohol tolerance ko.

Ang sweet na sana na nag alala siya kung hindi lang niya ini-insinuate that I was like one of those cheap whores that will drink and sleep with anyone.

I was crying my heart out when you called and comfort me.

"bakit kasi nag titiis ka sa kanya eh andito naman ako" natigilan ako sa sinabi mo

"Fran? " was all I can say.

"oo na alam ko na pinag usapan niyo yan ni Mitch. Gaganti kayo,  pero look ikaw yung nasasaktan"

"nasasaktan ako kasi ininsulto niya ako" i said firmly.

"bhe, puwede bang akin ka nalang? Ako nalang mag aalaga sa'yo. Hindi kita sasaktan." sabi mo sa kabilang linya na parang nag mamakaawa.

"bakit? Bestfriends kayo ni Van. Bakit mo ito ginagawa?"

"manhid ka ba o talagang manhid ka?" natawa naman ako kasi halata sa boses mo ang frustration.

"Mahal kita....... dati pa...... Hindi pa ba sapat na rason yun?" I was dumbfounded with your answer.

"pero... " and you never let me spill my speech.

"hindi kita pinipilit na mahalin mo agad ako. Basta hayaan mong mahalin at alagaan kita. Letche ang corny pero ok lang na makihati ako kay Van. Just let me be your man" you rendered me speechless that all I could muttered to say was "ok"