to save him

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stacking every sugary sweet in sight has become a daily routine for us, and then sending them flying all over the floor, our laughter "disrupting customers" we put on the act "oh I'm so sorry ma'm, we shall try to keep it down" then rolling our eyes as they walk back in with a huff

"Honestly some people are so pretentious" I say to clay, who's pumping butter into another popcorn box, we've had so many customers today, it's been exhausting, and we haven't had much time for each other. Actually no let me correct that, we haven't had enough time to awkwardly gaze at each other, both of our hearts fit to burst and scream "you know what I fucking love you and have for years"

I don't know how I'd react if he said that..

"Nearly there now" he reminds me, giving me that dorky smile that makes me want to jump on him and use that butter for a different purpose...

He's unlike any guy I've ever known really, nerdy and sweet with it, his eyes light up when he sees me, well it's either that or I'm imagining it. I'm not exactly the Jessica Davis of crestmont.

God, Jessica. She's so so gorgeous, I'm actually jealous of her, I want her life.

"You okay?" I feel a hand placed softly on mine on the counter, it's him, his skin soft and smooth, his touch makes me feel electric.

"Yeah, just can't wait to get out of here" I reply as I collect all the discarded popcorn boxes that people just love to throw and miss the bin and not pick up.

"Me either, so, um..what you up to tonight?" He asks, bravely because I could easily lie and say nothing but why would I?

"Not much really, same old, probably just going to listen to music or something and take advantage of the house while I'm home alone" I tell him

"Wait you're home alone?"

"Yeah...if you wanna, like..." I'm dropping hints

"Yeah sure, don't think you'll like my music taste though" he laughs, his laugh running through my head like an Olympic runner.

He has no idea, god damnit.

"Yeah yeah, I'm sure I will, or maybe I should just help my parents at the store"

"Yeah, suppose you should"

His reply throws my smile across the room and makes my heart sink. I'm not even playing hard to get am I?

"Clay..." my voice trails off before I can find the right words

"Yeah? What's up?" He asks me, looking at me somewhat worried

"It's just, well..I"

I'm stumbling over my words, literally

"You..?"

"I think I love y-

HAHAHAHA"

We both turn around to see what the hell just went on, a pair of teens stumble out the venue, clinging onto each other laughing at their every word. To the point she could say I'm breaking up with you and he'd be like "HAHAHAHA - wait what"

It's ridiculous. Me and clay just stare at them as they walk out into the street.

"Well, I didn't think it was that funny" clay says and I instantly burst into laughter at this little quip.

"Clay Jensen you are one of a kind" I say to him and he looks at me before saying "the very best" and doing jazz hands

He's so fricking dorky I adore it

"So what did you want to say before the laughing hyenas interrupted?" Clay asks, genuinely inquisitive

I snigger at the comment before realising the question. "Oh it's...nothing important" I say a little bit too quickly

I expect him to question me, to say are you sure, but he just leaves it at that which is both respectful and also hurts me a little bit.

"Time to go" I say to him and he does a little clap of his hands, which I grin at

We both walk out together, and I go over to him as he's unchaining his bike

"Right well I'll see you tomorrow" he says

"Yeah...you too" my voice falters, thinking he's forgotten about tonight, he seems to.

"Oh shit, sorry hannah, I can't do tonight, mom n dad want to do this really cringy sit down meeting"

"Sounds eventful" I tell him, looking at his hair, then his eyes, and then I steal a quick glance at his lips

"Yeah, we need to apparently talk as a family, and push the issues into the open air like balloons and pop them together" he rolls his eyes as he's saying this which I don't blame him for, this sounds super....awful

"Full of fun times in your house ain't you"

"Oh yeah, the Clay Jensen special edition, rules of dating, will not only take you to see my embarrassing family, but will also cook occasionally" he laughs

The word "dating" sinks into my brain and I can't remove it. I have to ask.

"Dating you?"

"Oh um, no I didn't mean, I meant" He is also stumbling over his words.

"Clay it's fine, I know what you meant" I tell him

We look at each other and I just want to tell him, but then his phone rings and it's his mom, he does impressions of her and facial expressions which make me giggle, but of course when the phone drops, he has to go

"Right well umm...I best go to the counselling session" he stutters and I tell him he should, he gets on his bike, and gives me a smile, before turning his back to me and starting to pedal away

I watch him as he goes, transfixed by this magical boy on the bike, everything I ever wanted.

I go to turn back but then something hits me, I look back in his direction and I see a car hurtling towards him. And I immediately panic.

"CLAY. CLAY!!!" I yell at him to warn him, watching in uncertain horror, and it's then that everything we've done together flashes through my head, the looks the smiles the love.

"HELMET!!!!" I scream desperately and it's then that he turns around but by that time i find myself running into the road to save him, my breathing ten times heavier than normal, the anxiety of the situation screeching into my ears like nails on a blackboard.

I bash into him, making sure he's out of the way, thinking we're safe, but this isn't a safe driver, by the time they know how to use their breaks I'm catapulted into the air, before I hit the ground, the pain unbearable, and then I lose consciousness.

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