The Algorithm To Infinity

[13] one in a million

Hours had passed and every time Steve looked at Natasha lying in the hospital bed, tears welled in his eyes. She looked so small, so fragile, wires and tubes going into her body, pumping her full of medications that Steve couldn't even pronounce.

The surgeon had told them, "She got lucky. The bullet missed vital organs, and we didn't even have to put her on a ventilator."

Lucky definitely wasn't the right word. Natasha deserved so much better, and Steve knew it should be him lying in the hospital bed. He would've given his life for her without a second thought, would've jumped in front of her if he had been good enough or taken the man down long before he even had the chance to raise his gun, but fate was wickedly cruel.

The chair he sat in was digging into his back, but he refused to move, watching over her like the soldier he was devised to be. He held her hand as if it was her lifeline, his sole purpose in life to be by her side like he hadn't left her in Miami almost two months ago. He caressed her cold skin with his thumb, drawing soothing circles on her hand as he listened to her soft breathing and the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

It had only been a few hours since she had made it through surgery and was moved into the recovery room. Their teammates took turns sitting at the bedside beside him, but the clock had just ticked past midnight and now, it was just him and Natasha like it was always supposed to be. He finally had the chance to talk to her, to tell her what he had longed to for weeks. Even though she was asleep, undoubtedly unable to hear him, he had to tell her now, and he would over and over again after she woke up.

Leaning over the bed, he pressed his forehead against her hand and closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, my love." He whispered, his throat insufferably tight as tears pricked his eyes once again. The pain in his heart was nearly unbearable. "I'm the biggest fucking asshole for leaving you, and I should've understood why you didn't tell me about your mark. I know you were scared, that you've never been in love with someone before, and you never thought that you would find your soulmate. You knew I would do something shitty, like leave, and I know that's why you didn't tell me after you got to know me... because you didn't trust me even after two years, and you had the right not to. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you, showing you that you can trust me and showing you how much I love you. I never thought that I could fall more in love with you, but I do, more and more, every single day." He said, lifting his head and kissing her hand in a silent promise to her.

"Shut up because I love you too."

He gasped in surprise as he heard her voice. It was groggy and hardly a whisper, but she was awake. "Natasha..." He choked out. He frantically hit the call button for the nurse before he kissed her forehead and sat back in the chair, relief entirely overwhelming him as her stunning, emerald eyes met his.

She mustered a weak smile, her eyelashes fluttering as she regained her bearings slowly. "Everything you said is not true. Stop blaming yourself." She murmured, pulling her hand back from his to push aside the blanket and look down at the thick bandage around her abdomen. "Fuck, this hurts." She groaned lowly, laying her head back against the pillows and reaching for his hand again.

"Yes, it is, Natasha. D-" He began as he took her hand, but she cut him off with the shake of her head.

"Steve. I'm serious." She sighed.

He frowned but was quiet as the nurse bustled into the room, a clipboard in her hand and a bright smile on her face as she began checking her vitals. "Everything looks good, and your little one is doing just fine. Tomorrow the Obstetrician will come in and talk you through everything." She said.