(English ver) I'm (Not) Allow to Love You // 널 사랑할 수 없(있)어

I'm (Not) Allow to Love You Part 32

"Noona, where are you going?"

For a moment I thought Chungdae was waiting for me in front, I had forbidden him to roam near my apartment. But it turned out that Donghyun had just greeted me.

"Oh hi Donghyun. I'm going to school."

"Isn't it already a day off today?" asked Donghyun sounding suspicious.

"Yes, but there is something I want to do at school."

"Is it related to Chungdae hyong? Gossip circulates very quickly."

"Did you hear that too?"

"Yes. I don't know where Chinye knows from and she said that in the class group chat yesterday afternoon. Gossip about Chungdae hyong will be expelled from school," explained Donghyun long.

"I will not let him be expelled."

"What is your plan noona?"

Donghyun kept glancing suspiciously at me and apparently my act of hiding my hands behind my back made him even more suspicious.

"What is that?"

He walked slowly toward me and I stepped back.

"Is that..."

"No Donghyun, don't come closer!"

But Donghyun nimbly locked my steps and took the letter I had hidden earlier.

"Noona... this... you're going to resign?" asked Donghyun incredulously.

"What other choice do I have, Donghyun? Rather than Chungdae being the victim."

"But noona also sacrificed your future!"

"That's better than sacrificing his future."

Donghyun looked down at the resignation letter he was holding.

"It turns out that no matter how hard I try, there's only Chungdae hyong in noona's heart."

He looked at me with sad eyes and suddenly I was overcome with guilt. I shouldn't have given him hope and hurt him like this.

"All of this is my fault, there's nothing I can say to defend myself. I'm really bad, Donghyun. You can hate me."

"Hating you won't stop me from loving you."

He smiled, but a sad smile. I'm too late to find out in my own heart that I really only love Chungdae. Suddenly I felt water dripping over the top of my head. Rain in summer.

"I won't force you. But don't force me to forget you or even hate you. You know I can't do that."

"Donghyun..." I called sadly, "I don't deserve your love like this."

"If noona isn't deserve it, who else should?" he laughed, a laugh that contained no joy.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier, but he and I still stood staring at each other. My heart hurts, not because Donghyun looks sad, but more because I feel sick of myself for hurting him. And the flashiness of my memories with Donghyun crossed my mind... one by one... all that laughter, all the ridiculousness we did, when death almost separated us... his smile, his touch, his hug...

"I only have one request."

"What is that?"

"Can you not resign? Is there no other way? I will accept you if that's noona's choice. I will be happy to see noona happy. But I won't be able to if I can't see you at school."

"Donghyun, I really have no other choice."

"Okay, I understand..."

Donghyun gave the letter to me.

"If I still deserve to be forgiven... ah, I really am shameless. Don't forgive me."

I turned around as tears flowed from my eyes mixed with rainwater. If I can do anything to heal Donghyun's heartache, whatever it is, I will. I stepped slowly leaving him.

"Noona!"

I felt a hug from behind my body and Donghyun rested his chin on my shoulder. He hugged me tightly and who was trembling right now? Are we both trembling together?

"You said I was your favorite, but in the end you chose Chungdae hyong. I am sad."

And I surrendered when I started crying with him. How evil and selfish I am, after everything Donghyun did for me, the Min family who accepted me, I even heeded everything and came back to Chungdae. Who are you, Choeun, how dare you use them like that? You don't deserve to be forgiven.

이 비가 머리 위로 쏟아 지면

When this rain falls on my head

흠뻑 젖고 말 겠죠 내 마음 도

I'll get all wet, even my heart

머물러 줘요 아직 까진 그대 없이

Stay with me, I still can't be

나 혼자 이 비 를 맞기 엔

In the rain alone without you

아직 어리고 조금 무서워

I'm still young, I'm still a bit scared

금방 그칠 거란 걸

Though I know it'll stop soon

뻔히 다 알면서도 그댈 찾 네요

I'm looking for you

이제 그만

Will it stop now?

다 그 칠까 이 빗물 도

These raindrops, these tears?

내 눈물 도 비 에 젖어

I don't want to

추위 에 떨고 싶진 않아요

Get wet with rain

정말 언젠간

And tremble with cold

너무 차디 찼던 빗물 이

Some day, the cold rain

따뜻한 눈물 이 되어

Will become warm tears

흘러 내리 겠죠 괜찮아요

And fall down, it's alright

금방 지나갈 소나기 죠

It's just a passing downpour

지금 은 흠뻑 젖어 가고 만 있죠

I'm getting all wet right now

우산 을 필 힘 조차 없네요

I don't even have the strength to open an umbrella

하지만 우린 알아요

But we know

잠시만 울 게요 빗물 에 기대어

Let me just cry for a moment

우리 의 슬픈 눈물 을

As I lean on the rain

그대 가 보지 못하게

So you won't see our sad tears

우리 이제 안녕

Now goodbye

(IOI - Downpour 소나기)

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